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So the other day I was looking up manifestation stories online and I suddenly realised, ‘My god, I actually manifested Tyler without consciously meaning to!!’..

As manifesting is something that’s kind of still new to me, I thought I would share with you guys a little story.

Rewind back to 2014, boy was I lonely.

I’ve kind of had the worst luck with partners in the past, I hadn’t even figured out myself yet(which was the problem), but was attracting the kind of people that needed to work on themselves, a LOT.

I was giving out these vibes like, ‘No one will ever love me, I’m a piece of shit, I have two kids already, they’ll just cheat on me or lie to me, I want someone to love me and then I will start to love myself, I will be happy when I find someone, I suck with guys I always attract ones that only care about themselves, I just want a family bla bla.’

Woah… can you imagine the kind of guys I was drawing in from thinking this^^!

One after the next, jerk, dick, asshole, liar.. blergh!

Mind you, I already had 2 kids, to two different people and that as a start, is not something that tends to draw in your ideal kind of partner. I had pretty much got to a point where I lost all hope of ever having a big, loving family where we lived happily ever after, cliché right?

I gave up. And THAT was where things started to change. My mind set went from “needing a guy” to, not needing anyone. I was a strong, independent woman, who was absolutely set on making a future for the kids and myself.. by myself.

So there I was, working through a tonne of past emotions and screw ups, trying to get qualified to get a job to make money. I had settled with, okay, so maybe we will have to rent forever, but as long as the kids have food, clothes on their back and a roof over their head then we will be just fine!

I was only single for about 2 years after my last big split with the ex-fiancé.. and I got some pretty rotten people say some horrible things.. “I want my own family.. I couldn’t handle two kids.. I don’t want to be a dad yet..” So on.

Whatever, it annoyed me at first because, well, I never asked you to be a dad, I just wanted to be loved. But then my thoughts started to change.

No! I started to internally stick up for myself as I’d had enough.

You know what, I don’t WANT someone who doesn’t want me because of the kids- my kids are EVERYTHING to me, I wont settle for anything less than someone who TREATS me like I fricken deserve to be treated! Like a Queen!

I had come to the realisation that no matter what I’d been through, and no matter my life circumstances, that I was a good, down to earth, HONEST, loving person, and anyone should be so lucky to be with me- AND have 2 wonderful little kiddies running around to love as well. I’d always known this, I just got a little side tracked and lost along the way.

From then on it didn’t matter to me, I didn’t want to look for a relationship, I had decided that the right guy would come to me, “when I stop looking”.. as we always hear.

That was only the beginning of it all.

The manifestation began right after this, when I started thinking about it …

What DO you want in a man anyway?

I began to conjure lists of the “perfect” guy, and NO I don’t mean a ken doll. Of course noone’s going to be perfect. But in time I thought, if this perfect guy walked into my life right now, would I be ready to accept him? Would I feel worthy? What traits would he have that would make him an ideal husband or ‘keeper’.

This list became pretty simple for me, and I started to put it out there to the universe. I would tell my friends, I would think it whenever I felt lonely.

I wanted:

  • A man who loves me unconditionally, who accepts me with all my ‘flaws’
  • A man who loves my children as much as I do, and accepts them as his own without resent.
  • A man who strives to achieve success and constantly wants to improve in all areas of his life.
  • A man who is honest, who respects himself, me and others, and who can communicate openly with me.
  • A man who would do anything for his family, a man who provides.
  • A man who tells me he loves me, and that I am beautiful every single day.
  • A man who makes me feel safe, secure and supported.
  • And lets be honest, I did ask that he had a job & a car…. 😉

I wanted a man version of me, someone who upheld the same qualities and values.

Once I internally made this list, (I may have even written it somewhere) I began to manifest by attracting what I WANTED in a man, rather than what I didn’t want.

I didn’t get tempted into relationships with people my gut told me were wrong, and I said, no, I will not settle until I know in my gut that this person is genuine.. that this person is the right one for me. I was actually completely happy after I had made this list, because I KNEW that somehow, sooner or later, he would arrive in my life.

I didn’t know how or who it would be, but I knew I would know.. make sense?

Low and behold.. a few months later at a friends house, she was throwing a party. I remember watching her in one of her “let’s hook you up” moments as she searched through her phone to show me a few of the people that were coming to the party.

She began to talk about the first one, I rolled my eyes continuously.. nah I don’t really care, if it’s meant to happen it will happen.

“Wait, OMG! I have the perfect guy for you, why didn’t I think of him before.. he’s a bit younger than you but he’s the nicest guy and he loves kids and I think he knows who you are!”

I rolled my eyes. Ugh how embarrassing. She showed me pictures and we giggled, next minute I had a text message on my phone from this guy….?!

“Umm Larissa, why is this guy messaging me?!?!”

Turns out she had sent him my number and insisted that he message me. Now I didn’t know what to think. Surely the “perfect guy” couldn’t be one that I randomly get set up with over facebook… We chatted… pretty much non stop for the next few days .. He seemed very interested … And my friend was very pleased with her match making work, still to the day she says “I knew it!”.

We met a few days later and went on our first and last “date”… no we didn’t kiss.. there was vibes being thrown left, right and centre.. I had anxiety like.. no way this guy could be “the one..” could he? And yet he still messaged me as soon as I left.

Now, he did have a job, but no car …. hahaha well it’s a start I thought. After getting to know him he seemed to start ticking off all those things on my list..

I honestly don’t know what it was about me that attracted him, but I held my ground. I told him what I wanted, yes.. I want a relationship, I’m done looking around, so don’t waste your time if this means nothing to you.

“When can I see you again…?”

“Uhh.. you actually want to see me again? I have kids remember”..

He met them.. and (Gah now I’m tearing up), literally from the FIRST day he met them he has treated them nothing less than as if they were his own. From day one!!

He moved in a week later to help out with rent (talk about moving fast!)

What can I say, but when you know you know?! When you ask, you will receive!

My dream man.. is still here nearly 3 years later.. and he still upholds each of the characteristics I prayed for.. he STILL tells me he loves me, showers me with kisses and hugs everyday (and that was my fault, because sometimes its TOO MUCH LOVE!! Haha!!). We talk about the future everyday, we talk about having another child, getting married, our future house, and encourage each other to reach our maximum potential each and every day. Now I don’t know what the future holds.. but maybe I will give that wedding manifestation a go 😉

Ladies, it’s simple. You hear, “he will come along when the timing is right”.. and it’s 100% true. So we need to make sure that we are open, and ready to accept love that we deserve, we need to know that we deserve the absolute best- we get back what signals we are putting out.

So if you’re looking for your dream man, but aren’t so much in love with yourself enough to KNOW that you deserve the BEST… maybe take a little time to work on you.

But if you’re ready for him, and you know you deserve him, I want you to write a list.

List all the characteristics, values and traits you WANT in a man, without worrying about what he looks like and start talking about it. Tell people you will not settle until you get someone who treats you like a QUEEN. (Of course you’ll have to be prepared to treat him like the King he is!!). Talk about it, think about it, feel it in your body, “he is on his way”.

You’ll probably get blindsided, he may be the last person you expected, but he will get to you when you are ready, and when the universe aligns.

Go with your GUT. Ask and you shall receive. Be patient, focus on yourself and what you want.
P.s Love you babe xxx

 

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How I Manifested my Dream Partner



Sometimes I forget I even started a blog.. and a website.. I had hopes and dreams and after a while they fizzled out into different things. I wanted so desperately to have an awesome blog, but I gave up before I got real results, why? Because it didn’t feel “me”.

I lost myself in it, I honestly found myself worrying more about the pictures I was going to put in the blogs, the “title” to draw in readers, the paragraphs being the right size so people didn’t click out of it within 20 seconds of opening it and scrolling down..

And now I’ve realised that for me, that’s being someone I’m not. That doesn’t show who I truly am or what I truly want to get across. I didn’t want thousands of views for traffic or money, ideally what I wanted was people to connect to the words I wrote, and even if that was one other person.. I didn’t care.

I didn’t want to write “informative” pieces, I  wanted to write what was real, what was the raw me. Even if it doesn’t make any sense!!

I never cared for being judged, for being famous, for any of that, so why I got caught up in all of this XYZ business tips and tricks for bloggers, I’m not quite sure. It was a quick way to get my passion to fizzle out.

What I’m about is writing from the heart, spur of the moment- like right now. Writing about things that are important or that come to me out of a single burst of inspiration. Whether I’m writing it for my own benefit or for 2 other readers.. who cares?! I do it because I have something to say, and I want to say it now. I don’t want to pre plan content for the next x months.  

The views that come in are those who enjoy it, get something out of it, or are simply supporting me- and I’m okay with all of those!

My writing is about the feels, the visions, the creativity, the inspiration; the typos and the things that might not make sense to anyone but me.. but it’s okay, because it’s me. I’m a Mum, I’m tired and I’m not trying to be perfect, I’m just trying to be me!

Anyway, you may not hear from me everyday or every week, but I promise from now on that when I do it will be 100% the raw me.

Some updates on what I’ve been doing ..

I finished writing my first book on Anxiety. Let’s be honest, it probably won’t be a top seller and I’m not sure I’ve done it right, but it is from the heart and it will get to those who need it! I need to stay positive about everything I do.

I have studied and become a qualified Holistic Counsellor and certified in Neurolinguistic programming. I am awaiting my Life Coaching Diploma.

I am now certified in Reiki level 1, and have signed up for a diploma in crystal healing as well.

These Holistic complimentary therapies and the lifestyle has taken over my life in the best way possible.

I know I am on earth to help and to heal, and I will do so in ALL the ways I am pulled in. I have no clue where I will end up but I know I’m heading in the right track. I have meaning and purpose now. I have to trust my intuition.

I am still learning, I still make mistakes, but I have the mental tools I need to succeed.

I’m so excited for everyone to be on this journey with me, and am excited to help others with their own journey. 

I’m still learning to enjoy the process.. the journey.. as I tend to set my sights on “happiness” once I’ve achieved my goals, but I’m learning now that if we are waiting for something to give us happiness then we are looking in the wrong place. Happiness lies within ourselves and no material thing, person or place will give this to us. 

Working on yourself is one of the most amazing things you can do for yourself and others around you. 

I just want to make sure you’re all taking care of yourself, do things for you. 

Wake up each day and think, “How do I want today to go? What do I want today? How can I help? What am I grateful for? How can I look at my situation positively? What goals can I set for this week?”

And please, make sure you keep time to RELAX! With yourself!! 💕💕

This week I am – going to focus on healing and my physical health, focus on what I’m thinking & start making some more lists towards achieving the life I want, and start living it like I have it TODAY 💕

What am I doing again?


I just had to quickly write up (lies it took a week) this post because I have noticed quite a few people lately have been going through some awesome transformations, change and personal growth through their life and I thought they might like a little guidance.
Some people may be curious so I thought this might be a good  read for those who are feeling some kind of change in the winds, you might just be curious and be pulled to it, if so, take from it what you need and don’t forget I am always available for a chat with anyone, about anything!

time for change

First off: Why are we so resistant to change?

Our whole life, ‘change’ has grown on us like a disease.
We were told growing up by friends or family, “you’ve changed”, and it probably came out in a negative way, they may have been spiteful when they said it, “I feel like I don’t know you anymore”..
People may have ridiculed you, your personality, your values, your opinions and made you feel like being anything other than the way you ‘were’ or ‘are now’ is BAD.
Wrong.

Change and growth is normal, so why have we as a society grasped the mentality that “things shouldn’t change, change is bad”?
We constantly try to hold on to things, people, places, or parts of ourself that keep us tied down in a world that is constantly spinning.. it’s not healthy.
Change is amazing, and it happens whether you pay attention or not.
Can you imagine you were still in the exact frame of mind as when you were aged 13/14.. no..
Sure you remember “being” there through your experiences as a teen, but there is no way you have not changed since then. Do you still chase boys around like they are the most important factor to your life? (some people may!:p ) Do you still think your parents suck and put rules on you for no reason? Do you still dress the same, speak the same, eat the same.. probably not.
It’s likely that over time you have changed things about yourself, these are good. We are maturing.
The only thing that stays the same is that sense of being “there” in your memories, that internal voice is still the same (but probably a lot wiser than when you were 13, you can probably make better choices now.. we hope!).

We have and continue to be unknowingly influenced in so many ways by society, the media and life itself. We are deeply affected by what we see, hear, the emotions we feel, things we touch and by what we hold true to our hearts. We are constantly being told what we should or shouldn’t be doing, saying, feeling, being. We’re told how we should be living, how to be the perfect parent, the perfect lover, how to do things the right or wrong way, what we should/n’t be eating, we are told how to feel, how to think, how to be.

Are you seeing it now? Even this now, I am enlightening you as to what’s really going on, and do you have to listen and be influenced by what I’m saying? Certainly not! It is up to you to decide what information and changes you allow and which you don’t.

9 Signs That You’re Preparing For A Big Change

How to know it’s time to move on with your life..

1) You may feel an internal sense of knowing that things are changing, and that you are meant for something bigger and better.

And yet you probably have no clue what that is, you just know.
There is more out there for you, you just need to find it.
You personally, are growing and maybe you just don’t connect with others any more. It may not interest you to participate in the mundane activities or do xyz with friends any more, as you realise that you too, are important. You are going through an important transition in your life and you feel the need to focus on yourself and really take care of you for once and find out what life is all about.

You may have been trying to write or make goals for yourself.
Great! You may have been writing mental lists of things to achieve in life that you think will make you happier, whether it be money, love, a job.. this means you are being pro-active, you want things to change, you are asking for things to change.
Now here’s the hard part, these ‘things’ will not come to pass unless you 1) ask for them, 2) get an answer 3) receive it.
Umm.. what? Check out the video “The Secret” it will truly change the way you think of life.

Ever wanted to know how you can get exactly what you want out of life?
Watch the Secret, it’s all about the Law of Attraction.

Everything you think, feel and say will come to pass if you truly believe it, and you feel it in your whole body. Ever wanted to flip through a catalogue for your life and pick out what you want? What if I told you, you can? Watch it!! No really!!

If you’ve been struggling in achieving your goals it may be that you don’t fully trust yourself yet, and that’s okay, it does not happen over night!

Try and write a list again today, but this time, do it with intent.
“I am going to do this.. xyz..” “ I will do this” .. and really hold that sense of already having achieved it close in your heart and mind, feel it.
Do not doubt yourself or your abilities, if you do, this is where you will start to go backwards into negative thinking habits that can be really self destructive if you don’t realise you’re doing it.
Don’t talk about why you don’t have this and that, don’t talk about or think about the negative things in your life.. because when you lose sight of your gratitude in life, it all goes backward.
You literally put out messages when you say negative things- “be careful what you wish for, you just might get it”.
You CAN do it, you absolutely can.
Keep learning, keep motivating yourself and surround yourself with the right people.

 

2) You may have a deep sense of failure or unsatisfaction with your current life.

full potential

“I thought that by the time I was 20 I would be doing ..xyz..”
“I thought by the time I was 40 I would have/done/seen/gone…”

Sure you may be happy, you may even have a perfect job, an amazing loving partner, a nice house.. but there may still be that niggling, rushed feeling that time is running out and you’re still unsatisfied with your life in itself.
It’s almost like a panic, “What am I doing with my life? What does it all mean? What’s the point?”
You may feel like you did everything you were supposed to do, but you do not feel the way you thought you would once you’d achieved or gained what you wanted out of life eg. Material things, big family, career..
You’re left with a deep sense of dissatisfaction with your life..
You still feel lost .. what the hell.. but you’re not sure why.

This means… you’re preparing yourself for a big change, you’re probably about to do a big shift of your current reality.
You may still feel a little hollow, like there’s more out there in life for you but you just can’t connect with it on some level.
That’s okay, because if you allow it, and you choose to roll with it, you will be so fulfilled, happy and flourishing that you (and others) wont even recognise yourself.
A whole new you, get excited!

 

3) You may have lost the interest in the opinion of others, or you don’t really care what people think of you anymore, great!

 

You’re already making changes! When we journey to find ourselves, our purpose or whatever it is that we’re so blindly searching for, and we begin to love and accept ourselves and understand our self worth we begin to care less about judgement from other people.
It’s almost like “I’m trying to find myself, I don’t really care about anything else, not your opinions or judgements, I don’t need your negativity.”

It’s a time for deep reflection, a time for focus, a time for change, a time for moving to bigger and better things.

4) You find yourself getting a bit bored.. and then in time.. YOLO

free your inner child

A craving to Feed your inner child.

All this time you may have forgotten “who you are” or “what you truly love”, so when you find yourself alone with time to spare you’re not really sure what to do with it.

Friends, jobs, school, TV or whatever has pretty much been occupying your whole life. We have been influenced our whole lives in so many different ways that we hardly crave to do the things we truly want to, simply because they’ve been buried under bad experiences, judgement from others, or the need to conform to society..
Whatever the reasons- now you might find yourself at a loss, and truly bored, with the need to do something, anything at all that will satisfy this weird longing or craving for adventure you have.
You can get what your heart desires the most and it is as easy as being aware of yourself, your presence on this earth in your mind as a being (which you can read more about here), loving, trusting and believing in yourself and knowing how the law of attraction works.

Here’s what you do to ease those bored times as you’re exploring and finding your self- do what you want!!!
There’s no better time to start loving yourself and getting in touch with yourself than right now.
Self indulge, treat yourself without guilt. We often forget the simple pleasures in life like getting out in nature (even if it’s laying on a rug on your lawn) and connecting with ourselves.
Not that kind of person? Not YET, 🙂 In time on your journey through change you will find yourself drawn to the beauty of the world.

innerchild

What did you do for fun and leisure as a child? Go for a bike ride, a walk, to the park, to the beach, go karting, jumping on trampolines.. swimming.. painting..dancing .. find your creative and artistic self.
Do those things you may ‘think’ or ‘feel’ are silly, do the things people might judge you for doing.. you don’t want to miss out on the opportunity of you feeling that pure joy of doing something that you actually, really feel like doing!
Picture in your head now, the feeling you get when you used to go on a swing at the park how your stomach dips, when you would dance without a care or when you’d go for a swim at the beach.. the feeling is good right(mostly good :P)?
So why deny yourself of these things, due to a random floating feeling or thought that has no purpose at all..?

When is the last time you put headphones on, found a space you were certain no one would bust in, cranked the music and just let your body go and danced without a care in the world?
Let go of the thoughts, “I don’t know how to dance, I can’t dance..”, just believe you can, and let the music flow through you. It doesn’t matter what it looks like, close your eyes and just move however you feel like moving, I did this for the first time in…. lets say the last time I was 10.. and man, it was so amazing, I felt energised and free after. Try it!
Feed your inner child.

 

5) You start sticking up for yourself and what you believe in..

my way

You just want to share it with everyone, you want everyone to be on the same level as you.
You may lose friends as you go through changes in your life, and move up to a more positive frame of mind. This is because we learn to let go of all the things that no longer serve our greater good.
When things are about to do a back flip in your life you may notice that you become more ‘grounded’, you may have a better sense of what you know to be right and wrong, and you’re not afraid to stick up for it any more.

This can be in relation to many areas we have covered already, i.e. it may be your personal self that you stick up for, you may not want to do activities for the sake of it any more, you may start going to do things that you really want to do that you feel society may judge or ridicule you for, you may stand up for your values and beliefs, believe me, it’s for the best. Go with what you feel.
You’re finally choosing to believe in yourself and understand that things are changing, and you are accepting it!
Other people may not like it.
Friends, families, partners have been accustomed to ‘who we are’ or who they perceived us to be. But as we go through personal changes, we are the only ones who can see the full extent of the change, others will see what they want to see- whether they think you hate them, they think you’re too stuck up or good for them, that you’re going crazy and you’re a completely different person now.. Well congrats to them, because you are exactly the same person as you always have been, you’ve simply chosen to love yourself and embrace life, and they probably have not.
People will see it, it is 100% noticeable when someone is awakening and finally living their own life.
I’ll tell ya now, some people will not like this “new you” that has come out of nowhere, they’ll tell you “you’ve changed, you’re different”.. you might not be pushed over as easy, you may have found the power to say no, you might start telling people when they’ve offended you or maybe you’ve just suddenly grown to realise that you don’t relate with your friends any more.

change is hard

It’s okay, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing, don’t let the thought of losing people and change scare you back into your old self destructive patterns.
Though at the time it may seem horrible if you can tell that a friendship or relationship is coming to an end, here’s where you need to trust that intuition, know that it is no-ones fault, you are simply choosing to embrace and accept positive changes.

You will make new friends, amazing new friends, and these friends that come into your life will be on ‘your level’.
You may crave to be around positive people, people who are loving and accept you for who you are, people who encourage and motivate you to be the best you, people who you find you are drawn to and really relate to.
These friendships are so fulfilling, watch your face book news feed go from being about complaining, new things people want or bought, sadness, greed… and it will change to be full of people that are uplifting, constantly motivating and supporting one another. Not only will your ‘news feed’ change, but so will your life, your thoughts and awareness of your self, it is such a positive time, learn to love it!
Now THAT is something you want, it helps you keep that positive frame of mind and really puts everything you’ve been through in life to a new perspective, let it go.
Don’t dwell on the past or the sense off loss for your old life/self, amazing things are coming.

Please, do not feel guilt, there is nothing wrong with you, a real friend will accept these huge, positive changes in you. A real friend will see you glowing, and will commend you on how well you’re doing.. they may also want a piece of the action so enlighten them.
A real friend will not judge you no matter what. You’ve probably seen these phrases everywhere, so why haven’t you been listening? Why have you been holding onto these people or things for so long? What is your reason?
If you’ve been thinking for a while about change, and your ‘friend’ doesn’t seem to fit in with who you are now then so be it.
So be it.

To move forward we need to let go of past insecurities, negativities and anything that has been holding us back, and yes that includes EVERYTHING, you need to let it go. That is something more we can get into later.
If you feel like someone is holding you back from moving forward, then they most likely are, they are teaching you a very valuable lesson, which you will continue to learn over and over again until you finally decide to go with your gut and become aware of the effect their presence has on your life.. then you will accept the change, and what a marvellous time it is!
If you’re thinking of this person in your head right now, then take it as a huge sign. If you’ve got that feeling in your gut.. listen to yourself.
If you are feeling worried or unsure or you want advice or guidance please feel free to get in touch with me via any social media or send me an email on the contact page.

It is not always easy going through change, and sometimes it helps having someone who is already aware to help guide you on your way up and support you.

6) You may already be fearing possible changes.. You may feel scared of the unknown or the future.

“I’m scared, what will change?” “I feel so out of control”

Well don’t be! Embrace it! It could be a number of things, but ultimately it is for you to decide, no one else.
It could be anything from moving house, getting a new job, new friends, even a spiritual awakening of some sort.
The point is, if you continue to fear it(change), you will most likely stay in the same loop, the same situation, with the same dramas, the same negativity, the same sense of something missing.
Change is nothing to be afraid of! But we, as humans, do tend to fear those things which we cannot control. When we realise that we can only truly control ourself, our life, our feelings, our emotions and our thoughts it becomes so much easier to let go and enjoy the ride.

The changes that you want in your life.. you already know what they are.
Take a minute to write them down and reflect.
It takes courage to stand up and acknowledge that it’s time for a change, or to admit to others that you want a change in life, but if you put it out there to the universe, and truly feel and experience it in your mind then it will actually unfold slowly in front of you.

All you need to do is let go of all your past negativities, issues, struggles and from now on and let negative thoughts, people, energy, words – PASS right THROUGH you.
You do not have to think, find that inner quiet, you only have to feel

You may feel something is changing, you may be scared because you have no idea what it is.

Is it simply that easy to let go of these anxious feelings and open yourself to the amazing opportunities life has in store for you?
Yes.
Don’t be scared, turn that anxious feeling around and realise that it is exhilarating- you are nervous about change because it excites you, what if all your dreams could come true?
Why would you let a feeling you have, stop you from opening yourself up to a world full of new and amazing opportunities?
Why are you scared of change? Do you think something bad will happen?
Well it might. And that’s where we go back to, what we can and can’t control.
And the only answer is ‘you’.
You usually can’t control the outcome of bad things happening in any given situation, but these are common anxieties that can be worked through.

You need to decide whether you want to stay in the same spot for the rest of your life fearing change and the possible negative outcomes (that will generally only happen if you over think them constantly and draw them to yourself), or you embrace it, flow with it, see where it takes you.
We need to accept change, if we fight it and fear it, then what do you think will happen?
If you embrace it and take a leap.. the positive outcomes of the change occurring will be far more wonderful and significant than you could ever imagine.

One thing we need to accept, it that change is always there, it is mostly unavoidable.. so what are you going to do when your gut is telling you it’s time for a shift?

We all have a choice.

A choice to make our own decisions, or to let the fear of the possible negative outcomes of our choices hinder us.
You have a choice to listen to these words right now and take them on board with love and acceptance, but you also have the choice to read, and continue on with your life as usual. You can choose to get out of this right now, it is your choice!
No one is forcing you, and if they are, cut them off.
Just as we choose to make daily decisions that control our life experiences, bet you didn’t think we can also choose to control what negative thoughts, emotions and fears you let affect you.. hmmmmm.

Everything that scares you about change, is in your mind.

Whether you believe it or not, change is inevitable, and sometimes inescapable. You can continue to fear it, or choose to embrace it.

If you’re freaking out about the future.. then it probably means the change is getting closer than you think.

7) You no longer want to surround yourself with negativity.

Whether you’ve already removed yourself from people, places, jobs etc or you’ve been thinking about it, once the seed is planted in your mind you’re already on your way there

negavtivity free

When we are around negative people we can tell.
That’s a little something called intuition” and yes it’s a real thing!
“Go with your gut”- more often than not, it’s trying to tell you something important,
and that is literally a warning that sounds a little something like,
“This person is down right no good, get as far away from them as you can”.

Negative people or people with negative energies can actually steal your energy, whether they are aware of it or not, and whether you choose accept that or not is completely up to you! 🙂
Pay attention next time you’re around someone negative (or someone you get a bad feeling about), can you feel that sense of unease like they might snap at any minute or you can feel them judging you?
It may be just a “bad vibe”, but pay attention and notice how your mood and thoughts change as they are affected by that persons presence or by what they are saying, watch/notice/feel them steal your energy, then leave and.. don’t let them do it ever again 😛

It’s okay to choose to feel good. You literally do not have to let yourself be around those kind of people.. you don’t!
It may be a friend, partner, family, co-worker.. if you know they’re no good, either learn to protect yourself from people like this, or remove yourself from them!

Negativity as a whole can be interpreted into any number of feelings (shakes/shivers/racing heart/sweating), thoughts(I’m not good enough) or emotions (anger, depression, anxiety, a sense of dishonesty).
It could be that you can sense this person is very self centred and narcissistic, they could be very angry or mean, they could be very manipulative and a down right compulsive liar.

These are things we learn to pick up on over our life time of experiences, it is also in built but many people choose to ignore this intuition we’re gifted with.
Ignoring or passing off strong intuition often leads to us having for example, a very bad, toxic relationship, a bad job, a bad house, bad friendships, doing/saying/thinking negative things in general and result in suffering from poor health and mental health conditions.
Also, just be mindful around people who complain a lot. See what you feel and notice about them, and then your own feelings. Do you also start to complain or feel down about things in your life when you could choose to be happy and grateful for being blessed with what you have?
Choose to let their grief or negative emotions pass through you, you can still be empathetic, but you can do so without allowing yourself to feel their discomfort too.

Think about you, where you are right now presently, and in your life.
If you’ve started to think.. “screw everyone that’s no good”, you’re getting prepared for change.
It’s a time to shut people out and focus on the importance of living and finding what it is you’ve been searching for.

If you’re feeling this way, awesome!
You’ve realised that peoples words, thoughts and opinions of you don’t have to affect you, at all, it’s whether you let them go straight through you, or you choose to hold onto them..
and by the way, we’ve all heard – negativity breeds negativity.
Do you become like those who you spend time with? Absolutely, if you are unaware and don’t know how to protect yourself.

Try now to focus on being completely happy even if it’s just for one day, tomorrow you’re going to wake up, make a point to begin the day positively, don’t let annoying things frustrate you, if something goes wrong don’t react, just stop, laugh, shake your head, whatever, and let it pass.
Don’t hold on to the negative feelings you get from things going wrong, people.. traffic.. whatever! Just let it be, for one day. Let anything negative pass right through, simple.

let change happen

There’s no law that says you have to hold onto any kind of negativity, so why do we do it so often?

I can guarantee you will have an amazing day, and you will be so much more aware of how you have presently been letting negative thoughts and emotions affect you on a day to day basis and have been carrying them all along with you throughout your life..
Reflect on it.
It’s not always easy to distance yourself or completely walk away from negativity and choose to live in a positive only zone.
It takes time. It takes strength and courage. It takes a lot of internal will power and trust in yourself and your decisions.
Sometimes the place or person you need to cut out is someone very close to you, your boss, a family member, a long time friend.. you may be related to them and you may even be dating or married to one!
It’s unfortunate because more often than not, we could sense it all along (we’ve all been there!), we knew they were no good and not uplifting us, sometimes our friends will even say “I knew he was no good for you, you should’ve listened”.. you may have recently cut this person/people out, or maybe it’s been niggling at you from somewhere inside, either way, when you are truly ready and you truly understand your self, your self worth, and your internal power and love and you deeply want that life you’ve been forever searching for- you will get it.

  • When you think it, when you feel it, visualise it, the positivity, the life you could have.. what does it look like? Do that every day and let negativity pass through you and you will have some life changing experiences and growth.

If you’re resonating with this, and are feeling sad about a particular person that has come to mind and it breaks your heart at the thought of it… just know, you don’t have to feel that way.
Put yourself first for a change, not them, you know they are toxic, do not put yourself in that position- you deserve so much more. It is never too late.
We all have lessons to learn in life, every experience is an opportunity for learning but it just depends on how you choose to hear it, feel it and react to it that makes a huge difference.
Keep in mind, not every action needs a reaction.

Don’t let the little things in life affect you. Live in the moment. Be free from negativity. Get in your positive only zone.
As we grow and change, we tend to soak up every bit of info we are fed or receive throughout our lives. We actually have been subconsciously choosing whether to spit it out- as it is of no use or interest to us, or we choose to let it sit with us and see what happens.
If we allow things to effect us on any level- they will stay with us. Whether it be a positive feeling from a good experience, or a negative one from a bad experience. When we draw back on these memories we begin to feel like we did at the time. You don’t have to.

Try and recognise what or who is positively affecting your life, and recognise those which you need to let go of. Trust yourself.
When we let go of these negative thoughts, habits, people or past experiences and we let them freely pass through us, we live happily and to our maximum potential.
It really is as simple as that.
I challenge you, today, if something ‘bad’ happens, stop, notice your feelings or your mood and simply think to yourself, “no, I don’t have to feel this so I’m letting it pass right through me”.. and let it be.. don’t let it affect you. It gets easier with practise!
Get in your positivity only zone, don’t allow anyone or anything (including negative thoughts) get through that bubble.
If you’re already noticing the effect everything has on you, excellent. It’s coming time to filter through your life, your past, and let go of all the things that no longer serve your current self.
Change is on the horizon..

8) You’re learning and starting to use the power of the word NO!

love yourself say no

Have you been practising saying no lately?
Yes? Good! Saying no to others is saying yes to yourself!
If not, now’s the time to start.
The power of NO comes in right as you’re beginning to learn to love yourself as a whole, as a being. When you realise what you are worth, how you deserve to be treated, and that it is so important to take time off to care for yourself.. then you start learning the value and importance of the word “no”.
Once you’ve got this down, you’ve got the power, and you are learning to make positive changes in your life, just by saying NO to people or things that no longer serve your greater good or interest you.

No I do not want to go to a social gathering today.
No I don’t feel like doing, going, seeing xyz today.
No I don’t feel like helping others today.

No is a powerful word, and many of us are too kind hearted to even ever use it! Especially when other people ask for your help or company.. we feel so bad about letting that person down or hurting their feelings or cancelling last minute that we …. unwillingly dredge our way through activities and social events because we are constantly worrying about everybody else and we forget about that tiny little voice called ME.

Your body and mind are constantly talking to each other- I don’t feel well today, I want to stay home, we need to rest.. but then somehow .. our thoughts begin to turn around from what we wanted and needed, to what we assume other people want or expect from us.. “But they are really counting on me to be there.. they will be so upset if I don’t go.. okay lets get ready and just get it over with..” Does this sound like you at all?

Even if your body and mind is saying to you- I simply cannot be bothered going – then say NO.
We physically, mentally and emotionally drain ourselves if we say yes to other people, when our mind and body is telling us no, so when we are doing that.. we are saying no to ourselves and our own needs. Oops.

Sure you may go and end up having a great time, awesome!
If you’re mostly saying yes to things that you really dread doing.. like seeing people or acquaintances you may not really feel like seeing because they’ve been having a negative impact on you, if you don’t feel like enduring that today then say NO.
I know it’s hard as this is something I have struggled with my whole life, but lately after learning to love myself and allow change and only wanting and attracting positivity into my life, I began to learn and appreciate the power of no, and I now understand that it is okay to worry about and care for yourself.
It’s okay to love yourself enough, to only do the things that you are actually wanting to do.

If you’re worried because you don’t want to spend as much time with certain people in your life.. it is truly okay. It might be that your body is telling you they are no good, it is very hard to spend lots of time with people that drain you or drag you down, say no.
Do not worry so much about everyone else all the time, if you do, and you do not take time for yourself.. you could end up very unhappy, exhausted and drained all the time, you may even feel like you’ve become ‘fake’ or you notice you’re being ‘fake happy’ when you are somewhere you don’t want to be.. why is that?
It may be a sign that you should’ve said no thanks..

Now, I know what it’s like to be someone who has spent their entire life trying to help and be there for everyone in their life that needed them, I know what it’s like to forget about who you are, and what you stand for, and what you are truly interested in.. simply from saying yes to other people all the time.
I know what it’s like to say yes to spending time with friends and the whole time you’re thinking you’d rather be doing something else with someone else.. or wishing you were sick so you could cancel and just chill out for a few minutes..

I know what it’s like to feel like the whole world depends on you, and will judge you for being selfish for cancelling, not showing up, or not being there.

And I do also know what it’s like to come home with the satisfaction of having been there, gone out and done things, helping someone who truly deserves it.. I know how it does make us feel good.

But we hate saying no, we don’t want to be judged, we don’t want to have to deal with broken friendships or relationships, we don’t want to let people down when they are in need, we don’t want to rest until everyone we know and love are happy and cared for.
BUT, if you are reading this, can relate and have trouble saying no then you’ve come to the right place.
Here, we CELEBRATE the word NO! :D!

It is a wonderful tool to begin with when you are learning to love yourself, to accept changes to move forward in life.
NO NO NO NO NO!

So, here’s what you do.

When something comes up or you get asked to do something, DO NOT REPLY STRAIGHT AWAY.

You simply say “I’ll have to check my calender but I will let you know, as soon as I know!”
It really is that easy.
And then you take the time to sit back and think, do I want to do this, or do I feel guilted into doing this for other reasons? Will I have fun or get on with the people there? Is it too late and I might get too tired? Will I have enough money on this day to do this? Do I want to spend money doing this? Or do I have a busy week and might want that day to relax?

If you feel weird even asking yourself these questions it’s probably because you constantly have these thoughts before going somewhere, and the end point is usually something like “I better go because/or else..” “I better go because they’ll be upset..” ..
These are identifiers that you have changed from thinking about what you want and feel like doing, to basing your decision on the perceived thoughts of someone else.. Seems a bit silly doesn’t it.
Even if they were to get mad or upset with you when you simply tell them, you ‘don’t feel up to coming but thank you for the invite and maybe next time…’ then are they really someone who cares for your well being and do you really want to spend time with someone who makes you feel bad about caring for yourself? Hmmm..

Never let peoples feelings, thoughts or words influence your life in a way that makes you stop taking care of yourself.

Chances are, if you’re feeling suffocated under everyone else’s dramas and troubles and feel like you never get time to rest and relax then you need to start replacing all those “yes’s” with a few “nos”.

You need lots of time to yourself to reflect.. to see what parts of your life or what people are holding you back and causing you to feel so exhausted.. you may even think that you simply don’t have enough time for yourself.. well yes, because you haven’t been making time. You’ve been putting evvvvverybody else’s needs before your own..
Say no, take a whole day, do not make any plans, do not say yes to last minute things.
Then I want you to spend the whole day with yourself.
Do what YOU want to do, this will assist you in finding what you love again, it gives you space to breathe and actually realise that under all that emotional/mental/physical stress and mess you do have your own little voice in there and it’s saying.. you should be doing this more often!!

When you do this, do it completely guilt free!!!
Make the intent that this set day is to be a guilt free day, a negativity free day, a people free day, and even a no phone call/social media day.. don’t get sucked into other people’s issues on your day off.
It is a day to relax, reflect, be happy, and enjoy. Splurge if you want, spend money go on a shopping spree for yourself, stay in bed all day watching movies and eating tubs of icecream.. write in a journal.. sleep.. whatever it is, do what you want, and then I can guarantee you will be more obliged to say no more often. Learn to love the no.

If people start complaining and saying “oh, you’ve changed..” because you’ve cancelled a few times or you’re a bit less social..
Have you changed though? Yes.
And do you feel happy about these small changes and the way you feel when you do nice things for yourself? Yes.
So you know why they’re saying you’ve changed in a negative way (or that’s how it seems)?
Because they feel upset that you don’t enjoy doing what they want to do all the time, or that you want to take care of yourself like somehow their needs are more important than your well being.
But that’s their opinion.

You should be most important in your life.

This goes to parents with kids too, it is completely fine to put your needs before your kids.. there I said it.

You know why this is so important? Because if you’re not taking care of yourself at all, then you are honestly not living to your maximum potential. I am not trying to upset or offend. You choose in which tone of voice you read this, and I assure you that it is out of love, support and encouragement.

You have been living to meet everyone elses needs and wishes and standards, which in life – is impossible.

It’s not bad, it actually means that you are an amazing, genuine, loving person.. but you maybe just need to take a break from being wonderful for a day or two. You are so important, and the world needs more people like you. This is why it is so important that you take time for yourself to love and nourish yourself! Soon you will see that helping yourself first will benefit you and those around you. Doesn’t mean give up your awesome self, just means please, please take the time for yourself to listen to your body and mind and meet your needs for once in a while.

I don’t know many people that are actually 100% satisfied with their lives and wouldn’t change a thing.. do you? So where does everybody have it wrong?

Maybe it could be that nobody is truly connected to themselves any more, we all live in service of others, our jobs, what others think..

Maybe we’ve all forgotten that if we stop to breathe and listen to ourselves for just a minute that we have our own voice.
We all still have our own dreams, aspirations, interests, desires, wants and needs but we have fallen in line with society and pushed our true selves aside as if the loudness of the world has silenced us.

So parents; what’s the harm in taking a second to lock yourself in your room for some alone time, or to get a babysitter to go out… stop worrying about what everyone will think of you, and stop thinking that you’re a bad mother/father for not meeting your child’s every single, dragging, need..
Like you, I know I go above and beyond for my kids, but it came to a point in my life a few years ago where it was driving me mad, and as a single parent it was so hard to ever seem to find time for myself.. between the house and bills and the kids and kinder and friends and family and study, it all.got.too.much. I couldn’t breathe.. Sure I felt happy at night for providing and caring for my children, friends and family, I love helping people. But, I completely neglected myself and ended up suffering from anxiety and depression as a result. I was completely burnt out, simply by not knowing the power of the word NO.

This applies to all areas in life, negativity in general- you can say no to it.
It really is as simple as not letting it near you, by either choosing to scroll through and not let things affect you, or by removing all forms of it (blocking, deleting, un friending, quitting, walking away). This is how we take back control.
Say no.
I see soooooo many people complaining (and I am totally guilty of it) about certain things all over face book or in conversation, saying “this person started harassing me and messaging me on face book and doing this bla bla bla”.. hmmm. Have you ever considered saying no?

How have you been acting/reacting?

Example: You see a horrible message from someone- do you choose to delete it or read it and feel crappy for the rest of the day?

Say someone you don’t like has been harassing you and starts calling you- do you choose to answer it and accept a tonne of negativity, or deny the call and block the number without a second thought?

Say you see a post you disagree with on face book that you feel is inappropriate- you can choose to click onto it and keep reading, read the comments, and send a long detailed comment and slag on how inappropriate it is .. or do you choose to simply not let it affect you, realise it is someone else’s opinion and that they are entitled to it and you keep scrolling, or block that person so you don’t have to see that crap any more? SAY NO.
You don’t have to respond.. at all.. you don’t even have to let anything effect you in a mental or an emotional way.. just move right past it.
It takes a lot of practise, but saying no is such a powerful tool when you are experiencing changes throughout your life.

9) You may currently have a sense of dwelling on the past, a sense of loss for your old life.

Well, have a funeral for it! Cya later old life, can’t say I’ll miss ya!

You are moving UP, to bigger and better things! Get excited!
What is it about your old life that you are mourning? The loss of friends? The job? Whatever it may be, remember these changes happened for a reason, because you realised that you deserve better, and that the loss you are feeling is only temporary.

You don’t have to feel a sense of loss. As we grow we learn to accept every part in our life, every experience, every fight, every kiss, every success, every failure.. is a lesson.

We have always been the ones who decided our fate, every thought, every feeling, every decision you ever made led you to this moment right now.

But now, hopefully after you finish reading this, you can see how much more fulfilled your life can be because you are learning to embrace change, deter negativity, love yourself and say no.
Your life will start to unfold in front of you exactly the way you want it to once you start with these simple steps.

When we stop dwelling on the past and see that any past experiences have helped us move forward and get to where we are today, it is a wonderful thing.

Change for us, for example, is like a caterpillar going into a cocoon.

You see this example used for so many things, and no I don’t mean go hide away for a bit and then you’ll come out with a whole new makeover..
When we change, we need to withdraw into ourselves, we need to make a protective barrier between us, and the world. This cocoon we make helps shield us from any negativity or predators trying to tear us down, so we can be safe, and it allows us the right amount of time to go through our own amazing personal transformation.
It does take a while.. but like the example, once we are ready we will emerge, we now are ready and on our way to reaching our full potential, and having the most fulfilling life imaginable.

We emerge from our cocoon having transformed our mind, body and spirit, and are ready to take on the world like the beautiful butterflies we are.

Point is, you can’t not change. If you take the time for yourself, and embrace the changes that are coming your way.. you will be amazed.

So if you’ve been relating to any of these points then you’re most likely about to enter a very exciting time in your life.
Embrace it.
Good luck on your journey, and please leave a comment below with your own experiences I would love to hear some feedback!

MWA

 

9 Massive Signs Change Is Coming To Get You



 

Hello, are you there?
Living in the here and now.

Are you though?
Bare with me, if you're lost at the moment and/or having anxiety, don't judge the start of this,
don't blow it off like all other self help things you see and skim past.
You've heard it all before yeah?

Read it all. THEN you can message me complaining about it if you feel the need.

Firstly lets set the mood, got a distracted mind? Be very calm, be very aware and let yourself be open to soaking this all in.
Got it? Yay lets get some knowledge!

For a long, long time I deeply, deeply struggled with being present.. But you're here Sami, what the hell are you on about?
How many times have I said/written, I am finally alive.. well I think I may have unknowingly lied to you guys, oops sorry about that..

What I thought 'being here meant', was not actually the same as being “here now”.
Ah yes Sami, obviously you're “here”.. is this girl tripping or what?
Nope.

Here & Now,  It's a state of being here, being present in your mind, being aware,
not just the thought of knowing that you're here physically on this earth.

If you've ever experienced worry, doubt, dread or anxiety then I'm sure you can relate.

We go through life experiencing these things, sometimes horrible things,
and we think “why me, what did I do to deserve this I'm a good person”..

Why has this happened TO me..

What I've only just come to realise lately though through a spiritual sort of transition of my own,
is that these things don't happen TO us necessarily.

We hold onto these feelings and thoughts that we experienced at a specific point in time,
maybe once or twice, or it could've been ongoing for a while now.

Think back to a bad time in your life only for a brief second, does your heart race?
Do you feel the same as you did then?

Why does the simple act of remembering cause us to experience things presently NOW as they WERE, and not how they currently are?

We are NOT our feelings, we cannot really be defined by anyone, by anything, even a trait,
there is no word in the English language that can define you (obviously 'human' though I hope),
other than the simple knowing that we are alive, we are present.
There is no category we can be put in, unless we put ourselves in it.
You are not an “emo” you are not a “hippy”, you are you, a being, and things you do and experience
shape how you and others think you are. Make sense?

Stop letting others define you.

Our personality, beliefs, values, they are ever changing, and the only thing that ever stays the
same and could/should be defined is that somewhere inside you, you KNOW you are there, you know you are present.

Close your eyes for a second once you've read this paragraph, try and literally push all your thoughts aside,
you can hear and feel them whizzing in your brain, kill the constant chatter- our minds wont shut up unless we
push them to the side, to the back wherever, throw some gasoline on them and light them on fire, and feel the emptyness,
there is a space there, somewhere within you that can control and move these thoughts, and feelings aside.
Focus on pushing the thoughts away no matter how hard they keep coming back, and if you get that feeling,
of nothing, even if it's for a split second, well done. Try it now.

Of course when you bring yourself back to reality the thoughts will always re-surface time and time again,
it's a habit. So stop it. When you feel the negativity come, shut your brain off for a sec,
and chose to focus on something present, name a few things around the room, “Oh I can see the TV is on,
and I can hear a car down the street, the fridge keeps making noise”.. that is what is real, that is our current experience.

The more you try and do this, the more it will help you in more ways than one.
You are there, presently in your mind, and you can choose what to do with your body, your thoughts,
your words, your actions. Never forget that.

Did you feel it? If no, okay maybe I'm nuts, but I guarantee 100%, there is a space there, a calm,
a place of nothing besides knowing that we are somehow present right at that second.

This sense of being here right now, is very important.
Never forget that it is there for you to access as you need.

For those who suffer strongly with anxiety or a sense of being lost,
or disconnected with yourself- this is so crucial you remember and practise
this in your journey to a better fulfilment in life.

I can't even believe these words coming out of my mouth right now, who is this person? I feel like I should put on a floral headband,
buy a van and take a trip around Australia haha! (typical stereotype) but see that's not me. I'm an everyday mum,
2 kids that annoy me sometimes, sitting at a laptop, I have piercings and tattoos, I rather be by myself and I'm
certainly not a nature hugging person, but I have the similar mentality. You can have it to, doesn't mean you need to
start praying everyday or meditating 2 hours a week or going around saving animals and trees.. that might not be you.
You stay the same, the only thing that changes is your perception of yourself and of life and let me tell you
it is so enlightening! ( and yes maybe over the last week I have had more of a wanting to be outside,
but that's the kind of things you want to experience when you are living, it's refreshing).

If you're feeling now that you've “lost yourself”, I can safely say, you haven't.
You've simply “forgotten” how to find that sense of being present.

This is something that has resonated with me in my writing, I have always had a strong urge to
write about being lost and feeling lost- no matter what area in your life you're referring to,
it's all the same. I have written it a thousand times
“maybe we don't lose ourselves, maybe we just simply forget”, and as I'm writing this it has stuck
out to me and I realised that I never understood the meaning of the sentence properly until now!

You do forget yourself sometimes and it's terrifying, but having this knowledge now, and choosing to implement it..
can be some life changing epiphany type stuff!

In a sense, through writing and practising being 'present', I have truly found myself. I know I'm here,
I know what I feel and do is under my control and I tell ya now it's amazing. And it is a very handy skill.

In times of great struggle, you need the ability to pull yourself back into your mind,
draw everything back and just focus on being there, and knowing.

I know I may sound nuts, hell I know I'm struggling to understand this whole enlightenment mumbo jumbo myself,
and trust me I've been going through some real epiphany type stuff the past week that has completely freaked me out right down to my core.

First, don't be like me, and skip through these kind of posts because they're all airy fairy
and nonsense for do good hippies... I have never associated myself like that, we have this pre set
judgement in our head when it comes to talking about these kind of things, especially if you are very skeptical.

What helps us get to this “space” this “present” feeling you're rambling about?

Here it comes.. ready..

Meditation, oh boreeeeee.. that's what I thought, meditation, yoga, all that loving stuff is SO not me,
I'm strictly what I see, hear and feel kind of girl.
I have only done like... 5/10 seconds a day of purposely pulling myself into that space-
even if I'm not stressed or anything.. It's called forming a habit!

Are you thinking meditation, that's so not my thing..
Well maybe you stumbled across this post for a greater reason,
maybe just maybe this is the sign, the push you've needed in your own journey.

So do you know what meditation is?


For me, I thought, yep, meditating is sitting on the floor making weird hand signals and
just breathing to relax your body like a freak. They get all connected to themselves and crap.
Right? Maybe you're so busy,
“How am I going to make time to meditate when I don't even get a second to myself each day?” .. this is also me.

I never really KNEW what meditation was, I knew about it, but never understood that it was so much greater than “relaxing”.

After lots of research I have discovered that it is so much more than that,
so if you're struggling right now, with finding yourself, or finding your purpose or loving yourself,
any of that, I highly, highly recommend checking it out.
You can even download free apps that help you! (see end of post!!)

First time is always VERY weird, you might not feel like you're getting it, but each time,
it is easier and easier to find that place of solitude, that knowing, and it is so much more beneficial to you than you think.
It is an excellent way to rip you away from “life” and pull you back to “reality”, the here and now.

Bit of a personal story: A few years back my mind was very troubled (anxiety, depression the lot),
I sought help and ended up seeing a psychologist, I'd always refused the idea before because, well,
no-one can help me, I was too scared to find the truth because I wasn't sure I was strong enough to
keep my head a float, I wasn't ready, I wasn't quite there yet.

I spent the next few months at my sessions talking through all what I thought were MY issues,
I thought they were the problem at that point in time because that was all I could see, other people.

I thought these “issues” surrounding me were the root cause of my misery and anxiety.

I can hear myself now saying, “This happened and this person did this, and it made me feel … xyz”
I'd be in tears because I felt like the issue was presently effecting me right at that second, and I couldn't shake these issues.
I found it really strange though, I thought through it all and I KNEW how to fix my life,
or so I thought. I spoke all the answers and then went off to implement all this change in my life, it was so terrifying by the way.

I thought that by finding a purpose or path in life to follow and throwing myself in the deep end would make my current problems go away.

So I did that, I thought I knew what I wanted, to help people, I've always strongly felt that was my purpose,
but was unsure in what way, so I figured I liked kids and went and became a Qualified Early Childhood Educator..
I went on to be a room leader for 2-3 year olds and although I liked doing it, I still felt empty and wrong like
I was going the wrong way, even though I had no clue what the “right” way was. It wasn't satisfying,
for you it could be that you want to help people by giving them amazing hair, you might want to do a trade.. whatever it may be you'll know.
(tip: think back to when you were a teen, what were some of your life dreams then?
Usually around 16/17 is when you're at your truest.. try exploring those options,
even if you've felt you couldn't make it, or it's too hard, too long to study, to hard an industry.. doesn't matter)

Fast forward a few years later and here I am, without a job, with no money or savings to my name,
without a clear specific goal or focus on my future, but I now have direction, which was there all along,
and I found it in that little space in my mind when I pushed everything aside.

Sounds so simple doesn't it.. and in a way it is.. but it's the belief, confidence and love you have for yourself that will see you through.

Anyway, point is, I have purpose now, and here I am broke with a heart full of love,
wanting to give and share with others, and the only way I know how to do that at the
moment is through writing. It always has been, it just took me 26 years to realise!
Will I make money off it? Who the heck knows?! If it's meant to happen, it will.

So if you are at a point in your life where you're unsure, just know, literally, everything happens for a reason,
and if you're not ready to accept it yet that's okay, it simply means you are not READY yet, you may try and fail
time and time again, think you've found yourself and then lose it again.. it's okay.

If this gets across to you but you don't have the drive to do anything about it yet that's okay,
I strongly believe that those who read this will take what they need from it. Maybe it was something
you needed to hear, or needed to remind yourself of, either way, I'm here anytime.

I'm not Jesus Christ re-incarnated, I'm not some weirdo hippy (no judgements if you classify yourself as one),
I do not fit into a category, I am me, I am present, and all I want is to help you.
So if you're feeling strongly that you're connecting with this on some level,
and have a gut feeling you want to contact me and chat, do it. You will if you were meant to anyway 🙂

Going off track a little as I usually do.
Let's take it back to the story for a little, so a few years back, Helen (my psychologist) always said to me,
“Sam, you're not living in the now, you need to live here, right now, focus on what's REALLY going on”.
“Yeah yeah shrink, same old words you say to everybody that has no specific meaning or intention to me personally..” that was me..

It took me a long time to actually TRY and process all of this, I just wanted a solution right that second,
I wanted to be instantly fixed. And as we always see, there is NO ultimate cure or technique that will
snap us into the right way, life is a process of learning.

Helen gave me exercises and examples to try when I had a few spare minutes,
-when you're having a shower, focus, quiet your mind, think about the water running down your back,
take your mind off those lists you have to do of xyz, drown out your kids needs, your relationship issues,
your job.. even focus on these words or a sentence and push everything away. Truly realise you are here,
right that second, having a shower, feeling, smelling, breathing, being alive, and that nothing is effecting you right now.

You're here now, not yesterday when someone called you a bitch, not tomorrow when you have a job interview,
not 4 years ago when your ex manipulated and ruined you.

You are here NOW, we do not need to focus on these things that are not current.
We get so caught up in our physical being, our looks, our friends, our jobs, our cars, and the busy-ness of
the world that we don't take a second to stop and pull back and really be for a second.
We always have to think, or occupy our minds with tv, friends, media.. if we are not then we are not “accepted”
as a normal part of this world. Obviously there are some things we need to focus on but understand, think or worry
about when the time it is current or about to happen.

We are so stuck in this world that we often forget that we even exist!
That we can make an impact, that we can find quiet through all the noise, anxieties and stresses of life.

I hope this makes sense to someone else as deeply as it does to me, I would love some reassurance that I'm not crazy haha!
And though all this stuff is coming out, I am here inside still, the personality I have is still here,
I just have a greater sense of myself... and wowwww I can see how crazy that would sound to others.

If this was me reading this a week ago.. I probably would've skimmed this post and just got out of it honestly.
That is how much of a significant change this whole understanding and learning to be present has given me,
that I just want to drive down the streets with my windows down yelling at strangers to wake up! Haha!

Your thoughts and words stain your mind, just remember that.
If you're constantly letting yourself feel bad, anxious feelings then you're letting yourself slip.
Not to say you're purposely making yourself miserable, but you kinda are, subconsiously anyway.

You don't have to believe it, you can continue to blame your surroundings your lifestyle..
whatever you want, but you shouldn't have to put a blame on anyone, it does nothing at all.
Definately do not BLAME yourself, you just didn't know, you weren't aware. And now you are so let's keep moving forward.

What does something, is you, being there, and finding that space in your mind,
and making decisions that will impact your life positively.

You see/read it everywhere, “you are what you eat, you are who you surround yourself with..” and that is 100% true.
We often skim past these, yeah yeah eat healthy, love yourself, we get it.
But do you? You might, but you might just not want to really listen, and if that's the case it's okay,
you're completely normal, come back to this post as you remember it in time of need.

Bit of a trigger warning here, if you're not comfortable you can skip this part,

but it will help you grasp the understanding better.

I want you now to think of a trigger, what sets you off, what makes you anxious,
what brings up sad feelings? It could be anything, a thought, a memory, an experience you once had,
or something that happened last week, it could even be something you're worried about in the future.
Have you pictured it? Is your heart racing? Are you overwhelmed with emotions or feelings from that time/experience?

Take notice. Now that you're feeling it, STOP.

How though?????? Thanks Sami you've made me feel crap now.
No, your mind did.

Tell yourself, that this trigger, or this experience, is something you are creating by feeding it more,
even right now by allowing yourself to get worked up about it.

Think about RIGHT NOW, is that experience happening? No. It's not.
You went through it already, or haven't experienced it yet. So why are you feeling it now?

You're probably just sitting somewhere.. your house.. your friends.. work.. wherever you may be.
You're reading this right now and it's going into your mind, creating a new memory for you to draw from.

Now it's your turn to read these words and let them settle in you.

You are here, right now, reading this. Sitting and reading something on the internet should not cause you
to have the emotional reaction to what you're feeling right now, this is something you have felt before,
or think you will feel in the future. It no longer exists right now unless you let it. Right now you can
feel a calm, feel your heat beating and tell yourself, slow down, I am fine, I am here, I am not in present danger,
I am not in a life threatening situation, I am just reading.
I can slow my heart down right now, focus on breathing in through my nose and blowing my stomach up like a balloon,
and exhale slowly through my mouth imagining my heart calming, go to that place in your mind that is dark,
force yourself to NOT think about anything, let it linger, realise where you are and that you are okay.

You can do it, and each time you feel yourself slipping back, the heart starts racing, remind yourself, no,
it's not even happening now, I'm being a freak, I am currently feeling... “tired because I didn't sleep well
last night... hungry.. bored.. lonely..”.. and let your mind go to current things.

When you realise your reactions, repetitive thoughts and feelings have shaped your life up until this point today,
and will continue to affect your future emotional state of being- it is so much easier to disconnect
yourself from these anxieties, worries and resurfacing memories.
Nobody wants to live like that.

So why are you living in the past and the future?

When you focus on being present and here it is a very powerful thing.

If this at all resonates with you I hope it stays with you and you remember it in your most desperate times of need.
Even if it's a quick thought, use me if you need,
“Ok. I'm freaking out, Sami says don't forget you're here right now, stop freaking out,
if you don't believe it and you can't pull yourself back, message Sami, message a loved one,
they can help pull me back down until I learn to do it myself.”

Email me! I don't want any of you to feel anxious or worried, so as I said, I am here.
We are all here for a reason whether you believe it or not. I know mine, maybe it's time for you to live right now and find out.

Pull yourself back into reality, even if its only focusing on that space for 5 seconds a day,
it makes it so much easier to draw from in times of need, go to that space.

Find your 'presence' in this moment right now, you don't even have to think anything.
It is always there, the space never disappears, you may forget how to find it, but it is there.
Find your head space, find you.

If you want to read up more I would really suggest these:

What The Hell is Meditation & Why do it?
Best Free Phone Apps - Meditation/Mindfulness
Meditation for beginners

Leave a comment below if anything resounds with you!

Living in the here and now. Trigger Warning


 

So here’s where I’m going to start off,

In September last year I left my job as a Room Leader in an Early Learning Centre to pursue my
career in writing and find my true purpose and passions in life.

First off, this probably wasn’t the best idea.
I left, with $5000 in my house savings account, that I figured I could get by on until
my kids went back to school, and that I’d mysteriously still have enough to live until my writing picks up..

-buzzer- wrong.

Here I am a few months into my journey and well, guess what, I’m flat broke,
I’m talking that whole $5000 that I worked and saved SO hard for,
for like the 3rd time in my life..
slowly drained down to nothing.

Now what??
I don’t know?! Am I failing? Feels like it a little bit.

 

What would Sami(me) usually do in this situation?

Quit. Give up. Give in to those emotions, feel sorry for myself and cry ..
(ok I did before for like 5 minutes before I pulled myself together),
go out and start looking for a full time job that completely kills my passion for writing?
No.

This time is different, because I need to do this, I need to prove to myself that I
can be persistent and that I can achieve things if I try.
I need to show my children that it’s okay to have struggles in life,
and not have that luxury money to buy them special little treats every week or a slurpee when it’s hot..
I need to show them that you can overcome obstacles, you need to be pro-active,
you need to keep looking forward mentally and move forward through hard times.

And it is so hard, so many times lately I have begun to doubt myself and start
thinking about failing, and when I think about it, these things start to happen.

Change your perspective & Re-focus

So I changed my perspective, from oh no poor me what am I going to do,
to WHAT AM I ACTUALLY GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS.
And then ask myself, okay what’s next, what do I need to do to get through this,
to fix these money issues I have, there can be a solution so what is it?

Okay so I’m starting to feel a little better, I’m looking up options to pay for the kids school books,
and luckily their school has a great payment plan option for parents.
Using gift vouchers to buy food.. that’s a new one.. but very thankful I was given those vouchers
since they’ve come in handy at a time like this.
Only buying the essentials.
And by the way, my problems are first world problems, I am very aware of this,
there are so many more people with it worse off, and it sucks,
this is why I hope to inspire others, even when you feel like you have nothing left,
no matter where you are from.
do. not. give. up.

Reaching out to family that offer support, great to have there, and I have never been
one to like asking for money since I moved out of home at 18. There’s something about it that makes you feel like..
you’re failing. So you have this huge sense of pride and end up figuring out a way to handle it on your own other
than going to your parents. Go figure.
Great, when you’re really desperate for help, I know my parents will always help me as much as they can. I’m very lucky.

 

So what am I going to do in a realistic sense?

Work HARDER.
Yep you heard, though I’ve nearly worked 8-12 hours every day for the last few months
(though it doesn’t FEEL like work as I love it!), so I need to be more prepared.
I need to make a time sheet for every day,
make more use out of my time.
Work on my book more, reach out to more people.
And you have to do all this constantly so people stay attentive and interested..

It is much more work and effort than I originally thought.
There is so much work that goes into just creating your own website..
you will never understand until you have done it yourself haha!

I am also starting to look for a casual job just to help, we are getting by okay but could use the extra funds.

Did I really think I’d be bringing in the big bucks after a few months of setting up my site?

No.
Honestly no, I have read many things that say it takes a lot of time.

So why did this happen?
Well, I didn’t budget properly, and we thought we could afford it on one persons wage,
turns out it was too late before we realised the money was all gone.
Poop.
There goes any chance of getting that house deposit anytime soon.

 

Is it possible?

Yes absolutely, but you would have to budget very hard, have pre prepared a lot,
and be prepared to live on the essentials, be focused, motivated,
and not give up when things start getting hard.

Do I plan on making money through my site?

Honestly, no.
The only thing I wanted to make money from was being an Author, selling my own writing.
That is the dream, but if I can make a little extra on the side that would be great.

Is it easy to make money in this industry….

hell no.. umm have you seen how many blogs there are out there?!?!!

Who am I to compare to any of them?

Well.. doesn’t matter. Because for once I’m sticking to my dream, I want to write and sell
my own books to people, and connect with and inspire and empower women and young parents in Australia and around the globe.

I’m going to do everything in my power, and you know what, if I continue to do that with
the passion I have now, there is no way I will fail, because I will never give up until I am satisfied.

When will I be satisfied?
I’m not sure… when I’ve published one book maybe.. maybe 10.. maybe when I have enough to buy a house.. maybe never!

So hopefully, we make it through the next few weeks, and hopefully,
I get this book finished soon and get the word out there.

But you know, I can’t do it without you guys, if no one sees it..
how will anyone know how good it is or know that they NEEEEED to buy it?

 

 

My take-away message for today, just be persistent.

Do not give up on what it is you want out of life, you have to keep pushing through!
You will never fail unless you give up, you have the power, be strong.
Keep your head in the game, always focusing on the NEXT MOVE,
especially if you have hit a rough patch, don’t focus on the what, focus on the- what’s our next move.

My next post will be the actual first post, from the beginning of my journey.
What my first moves were, the mistakes, the statistics.
As long as you promise not to laugh k?

Leave a comment! Have you started a blog with no money?

Don’t forget to share to get the word out there. You can also subscribe at the bottom of the page to get notified when new posts are up!

MWA

Can A Mum Live Off $5000 while Starting A ...


20 birthday ideas when you're in your late twenties!

Each year you notice that your birthday becomes a little less important.

And then you get asked, “what’re you doing for your birthday?”

“uh, who, me?.. I don’t really do parties anymore.. I’m too old.”
So is it time to break out the party hats?

Top 20 Cheap Ideas For Womens Birthday’s when in your Late Twenties

So I figured, even though I’ll probably end up going to bed early on my birthday, why not suss out what others my age are doing ..

1. Go to dinner << Hands down delish!
2. Go to a concert in Melbourne.

4. Comedy Club – The Comics Lounge Melbourne << Who doesn’t like a laugh.


5. Spa Day Retreat! Who doesn’t love the famous Hot Springs!

7. Karaoke Bar Melbourne.. If I wanted to humiliate myself.. maybe

8. The Thousand steps … umm hell no thankyou, I do not want to be excercising on my Birthday unless it’s by breaking out some dance moves.

9. Go to an Art Gallery, YAWN!
10. Coffee & Cake .. Now this I can do. Trying different slices, cake and coffee yes please! This place looks great, Macaroons!

11. Queen Vic Market Shopping Spree. Gotta love the cheap stuff, and the fooooood! Or hit up the Night Market

12. Hitting the tables at Crown Casino! Or the food, the movies, the shops!

13. Hire a Party Bus & go crazy! To old for this or..?

14. House Party Ideas.. but the clean up..

15. Wine and Cards Against Humanity.. or vodka rather! Lots of fun!

16. Throw a Themed Party.. mmmm you have to have friends for that.
17. Book a last minute get away! You can find some really cheap deals with WOTIF!

18. Movie & Snacks Girls Night In. This would be one of my favourite to do’s, man I really need to get out more!

19. Bowling! Laser Tag! Alcohol! Strike is where it’s at.

20. Sleepover party! Where the best part is that.. you get to SLEEP! #



https://www.instagram.com/samileex/

Chuck in a comment below, what ideas do you have for Birthday Parties in Your Late 20’s?
I would love to hear your ideas!

MWA!

Top 20 Cheap Ideas For Womens Birthday’s when in ...



Here is a list of some personal qualities/values that I feel
benefit you as a person, to help you live a happier life.

If you’re reading this, chances are you’re soul searching or you frequently get called a d*ck.

Either way, I’ve listed a few tips to help you have quality relationships/friendships
and a better quality of life so you don’t go down in history as a prick.

I’m not going to order them as they’re all equally as important!
Give or take what you want, and no this isn’t my idea of “perfect”,
remember, it doesn’t exist. I’ve just personally found these have
helped my life become a little softer around the edges.

* R.E.S.P.E.C.T – bet you saw that coming. But wait, we have lost the definition of respect over time.
Here is the dictionary definition,
“A sense of the worth, or excellence of another person.”

Let that soak in for a sec, there is so little respect now a days, respect is regarded as “treat someone how you want to be treated”
“treat others nicely”. No. It is so much bigger than that.

Respect, is understanding, accepting and acknowledging another persons worth, value, and self as a WHOLE.

Stew on it for a little.
If you can choose to respect everyone for the amazing, individual people they are- and disregard their “negative qualities/habits” or parts of them that you disagree with, then you are TRULY understanding the word and respecting them.

Now this doesn’t mean that you have to be best mates with this person, you don’t have to see them all the time, but when you engage with someone.. anyone.. it should only be with respect, because everyone deserves it.

If you really feel like you can’t treat someone with respect in any given situation either dont talk at all, remove yourself from the situation or person and respect that they are who they are, but that you don’t have to subject yourself to negative people or environments if you don’t want to.

 

Know when to shut your mouth

Is there a word for that..? Haha!
There is usually a time and place for certain things to be said. Before, during or after a conversation you may be offending, embarrasing someone or speaking out of context without realising, or maybe you do.
You don’t want to be a d*ck for sharing an opinion you have when it’s something that is much better left unsaid, or kept to a private one on one conversation.

Think before you speak

Will what I say offend or embarrass them?
Should I be saying this in private.. is it rude.. is it necessary to the conversation.. will it have bad consequences?

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for opinionating yourself, but there is a time and a place, you don’t want to be a mean girl.

Don’t be a Mean Girl

We’ve all seen the movie, sure you can live a life like that if you choose,

but you’ll probably be upsetting a lot of people on the way, surely that can’t make you happy.

If you’ve got something mean to say, say it nicely.

If you feel that there is something necessary to be said, try not to be sarcastic, try to be as nice as possible,

and do not say “I’m not trying to be offensive but….”
we ALL know that something offensive is coming after that.

Try saying mean things nicely, though you may want to strangle them – be genuine.

For example: you have a best friend who’s dating an absolute moron (we’ve all had or been one of these),
they keep getting back with this jerk when he’s hurting your friend constantly.

You could say something like: “I’m going to be honest with you because I care, and it’s from the bottom of my heart. I know ultimately it’s your decision, but I don’t like seeing you hurt and I really just feel like your boyfriend isn’t treating you how you deserve to be treated and I just want to see you happy..”

See, nice, not too offensive, it’s genuine.. don’t say something like
“You should just break up with him he’s such a d*ck why do you even like him”….
Who’s had one of these friends?
Of course that’s going to piss you righttttt off.

Your words can have a huge impact on peoples reaction towards you, and their self esteem.

Try REAAAALLY hard not to get involved in regular gossip.

Yes ladies, you can’t deny it.
I’ve struggled with this recently and got sucked into it. I felt like a teen again!
It took me a long time, but I eventually cut myself from the negative environment and didn’t
expose myself to it anymore.

Stay positive, gossip is a very, very self destructive, negative habit.
Honestly, gossip opens up a whole world of drama, issues and karma.

Stop the Goss today
-change the subject
-excuse yourself
-let your friends know you’re over it and want to spend time doing fun, productive, positive things.
-have a good mindset :

We should be respecting and uplifting one another.
Negativity breeds Negativity.

Know what you stand for.
What are your personal values, what kind of person do you want to be remembered as? What are your passions, your fears.

 

Have confidence and dignity – don’t be up yourself.

Confidence in ourselves is important. Imagine I’d never been confident enough to share my writing?
It’s hard to be confident when you feel the opposite, but be humble and stay classy in your confidence.
Having “confidence” doesn’t always have to translate to, lets take 100 photos of myself with next
to no clothes on because I’m confident.. but if that’s something you really want to do.. your choice!

Be graceful and humble during big wins or losses.

Dont be a sore loser, we live and learn.
Don’t be one of THOSE winners either, unless the situation absolutely calls for it.

Distance yourself from anger and yelling.

No matter the reason, try to control it.

You don’t have to respond angrily to situations or people if you choose.
If you feel yourself about to yell at the kids.. a friend, or you can just feel the rage boiling inside,

TAKE A BREATH and close your eyes for a sec. Explain calmly to the offender or even to yourself,
“I’m starting to feel cross, I would really like xyz… I’m going to go outside for a while to calm down”

Stay calm, keep an even, crazy lady tone, say what you need, then remove yourself from the situation.
It gets easier!

Know how to identify negative thoughts.

This helps with our happiness, it’s great especially if you’re a worry wart or experience anxiety.
It can really help you live a more positive life.

If you can feel yourself thinking negatively, immediately stop yourself.

 

Be there for friends and family- they come next.

They’re your blood.. But if they are having a negative influence on your life.. dont be afraid to stand up for yourself. We don’t get to pick our families and chances are that you’re not going to love every single family member you have.

Be civil: agree to disagree.

Accept that we all have different opinions based on personal beliefs, lifestyle, experiences, cultures etc.

You don’t always have to be right in a fight.
(unless you’re a mum, we always are)
It’s okay to be wrong, it’s okay to admit, and it’s okay to apologise straight away.

“I’m sorry, I was wrong, I didn’t mean to argue but I get it, can we not fight?”

Truly, it feels good to soak up your pride sometimes,

it saves so much time and effort spent fighting an being angry – especially in relationships.

 

What are some qualities that you have and want to share with others?
Speak up! It may benefit someone!

MWA!

How to be a decent human being


How to be more you

If you’ve read the previous post Outcasts of today’s society – Unmask your true self then we are on the right track!

First off, well done!
If you’ve landed on this post chances are you’re on your own journey to Unmasking yourself- this is awesome!
And here I am to remind you that you don’t have to hide anymore!

We are doing this together.
If you would like to chat with me about anything or share your story you can get in touch with me here.

Okay, so. You’re not really feeling like yourself at the moment are you?
Well that’s okay! You’re not due for a check up at the psych ward, it is normal!

Somewhere along the way you’ve lost yourself, whether it was by choice, or from past
experiences, traumas or scrutiny, we are going to start TODAY!
Right now.

The main thing I want to discuss today is the small tweaks we make to ourselves,

our peronalities, our opinions, our values or our looks – to fit in with other peoples
idea of normal or perfect.

So maybe you haven’t noticed it yet, but we are all guilty as charged here, everyday!

” I can’t wear that to my grandparents house.. what if they think/say..”

“I’m not going to tell them they stuffed up my food order.. because I don’t want to be THAT lady”..

“I’ll turn my music down at the traffic lights, this song is embarrasing”

“yeah I love that new tv show!!! (never even heard of it)..”

I want you to think for a minute, write a list of all the things you’ve been doing/saying differently that kind of shadow the REAL you.

 

How to start today

1) You’ve just woken up today, what are your plans for today? Are your plans aligned with what YOU want to do?

Or, maybe your plans revolve around keeping others happy, or keeping up appearances,
or maybe it’s something you kinda have to do (like work, food shop.. the neccessaties)

Is there anything planned that you really don’t want to do? Why?

If so, you’ve already identified some negative triggers in your life,
you can now alter these activities to revolve around you, what makes you happy..
maybe it’s getting a new job because your current one is negative and you’re unpassionate about it.
This is something we can touch on more in the future.

Maybe your friends want you to go out to a club, but it’s your only day off and you honestly want to stay home and have a lazy day.
You miss your friends and may not see them for a little while, so what’re you going to do?
Maybe you’d still go out and have fun but regret it tomorrow when you’re broke and tired..
We need to fix this: there are exceptions though- eg. your friend needs a ride to hospital.. of course you should go and help if its life and death.

I’m all for being a good friend, BUT if you ignore your friend or cancel on them, they’ll be mad right?

If you start today, and start being honest and just letting them know,
“hey look, I’m not feeling 100% today, I need a day to myself I hope you understand
and I promise to see you when I’m feeling myself again.”

If they’re a real friend, of course they will understand.
You want friends that have good qualities, not one who will hold a friendship
against you or end a friendship over something like that.

 

Do what YOU want, listen to your body, what do you need?

2) What do you want to wear today? No, but actually think about it.

Forget what everyone else thinks.
Have you been dressing the same as others or wearing whats “in fashion” but you don’t feel you’re truly expressing yourself?
Maybe you want to wear a rainbow sweater with a cat on it.. do it! Who cares what others think?

Do you want to define yourself,

or let the fear of others judgement or opinions define who you truly are?

I’m telling you now, it takes some time, but small steps each day creates a habit.

We need to change our subconsious worry and fears – we identify them and change them.
(I talk alot about this in depth in my Ebook that will be out sooooon!)

So when we start to feel ourselves conforming to societys standards again, we can go,
hangon, that’s not me, that’s not what I want, I’m not going to tone myself down anymore.
SCREW THE HATERS! BE YOU!

You want crazy hair today? Go for it.
Always wanted tattoos/piercings, go fot it! (if youre under 18 maybe check with your school rules and parents though!! haha)
Want to wear trackies and uggies, you go for it girl!
You’ll notice that you’ll be a lot happier when you start making these small changes and start being more you.

3) What’s your opinion today? Where is your voice?

Have you been shutting your mouth because it’s not worth the trouble?
Not worth who’s trouble.. yours or theirs..?
Stand up for what you think is right and justifyable.

Maybe someone has offended you or you’re too scared to stand up to a rude friend
or family member who has been making you feel be-littled or worthless.

Do you really know and understand how you deserve to be treated? If no, go here.

If someone is treating you any less than you deserve, SPEAK UP.

Now I’m not saying jump in your car and start ramming down every person who ever looked at you wrong.
There is a wrong and a right way to deal with haters and that’s wrong lol.

One of the best ways I’ve personally found works well, and usually shocks the other person, is to say

 “I don’t like the way you’re speaking to me, it’s making me feel like cr*p, and I’m not going to allow you
to treat me like that, so I’m not going to subject myself to it anymore, Cya!”

It gives them a good dose of shock, and makes them think about how they’ve been acting. Hopefully things get resolved for the better.

Start voicing your own opinion, today. What impact on this world will you have?
You may have the power to help people just by voicing your opinion, there will be atleast
one other person out there who connects and agrees.

4) Who are you today?

Maybe you’ve had a cr*ppy week and you need a grumpy day- we all have and need these on occasion.

You can choose how you want your day to be, it’s your attitude, your choice.

So what’s your attitude towards yourself today?
Miserable? We need to make some changes.
“I want to have the best day every day”? Great!
Moods aren’t constant, they’re variable, so we can choose.

Our moods effect us and our productivity, so be YOU today.

If you want to do something out of the ordinary or something amazing, tell yourself in the morning,
repeat it. Self talk is great!

If you’re feeling low, tell yourself,

“It’s okay to feel this way, but I do want to find myself, what I love and make the most of life, so today I’m going to do exactly what I want to do right now… and be lazy 😛 And tomorrow I will … “

Remember, SMALL steps, It’s okay to put yourself first!

This goes to all MUMS especially too, it’s okay to do things for YOU sometimes,
don’t worry about the opinion of sheep.

Doing things for me, is one huge thing I learnt during my own Psychologist sessions.
We get so caught up in the needs of our children that we completely forget about ourself!
A Happy mum makes happy kids!

There is NO such thing as perfect! (Except for our own kids :P)

If you’ve found something has helped you be more you,
please leave a comment and share your wisdom with other women around the world!
So today, I’m going to put on a choker necklace, wear what I want,
put on a tonne of makeup (because I want to), make myself look nice,
and I’m going to go to the beach with the kids and shamelessly blare the music and dance with the kids on the drive.

MWA

How To Start Being You Today – Small Steps


Outcasts of today's society

Being afraid to openly express yourself as a teenager it’s hard.

So many people judge you, it’s not like when youre an adult,
you have to see these kids every fricken day! .. for years! ( I guess work counts though right?)
Making one “mistake” as a teen can cause your life to turn to crap over night.

As you get older, you become wiser, but majority of us are still struggling with who we are, what we’re doing here,
what job/career path we should take, all whilst worrying about what our co-workers think, what others our age think,
what other “parents” will think, how to be the best parent or girlfriend.

We try and fit ourselves into this category, and you know, it actually doesn’t really exist.
It’s called “perfection”

So many people have perfected the “look” of their lives, so that others dont judge you too harshly, they see your outer
shell- of this perfect person and life you’re trying to portray.

Tell me, why is it so important to fit in?
Afraid of being outcasted into society and labelled accordingly?

If we lived in a world where everyone supported you in every aspect of your life and built you up to be someone of success and importance, answer this,
what would you start doing today?

Would you continue to live life the same, following others peoples ideas of a “perfect life” or would you take
the chance and be yourself to the fullest.. because everyone agrees with you and supports you and thinks you’re great?

I probably would, noone to oppose you right?

So let me ask now, why are you trying to fit in with other peoples view of perfect?

Take control of your life and start un-masking TODAY.

1) What do you want out of your life?

This always changes as we grow older and wiser, what stage are you at in your journey?

Maybe you’re in your teens and you’re focusing on exams, considering uni’s,
or maybe you really want to date that guy, or get that dream job.
Either way, if you are not truly being you, then you’re most likely setting
yourself up for a mediocre, averagely satifsying life.

“I hide who I am, I don’t want to be judged for being different”

Let me give some examples here,
For me, I was too afraid to tell people what music I was into, because it was very different to a lot of girls at my school.

“I wanted piercings and tattoos, to sing in a band or do broadway.. writing or acting.. where as every
other girl my age wanted to be a fashion designer, lawyer, graphic designer, teacher..”

I dropped out of school after year 11, I was scared to be different and to fail
in my chosen area, not many people make it in those industries right?
I left my dreams behind at highschool, and pursued a normal job that I wasn’t passionate about.

I didn’t know how to act as a teen, I felt like I was being criticised by everyone.

“I was very emotional and didn’t know how to be myself in a world thats definition of perfect is so skewed.”

So I shut off, I made friends outside school who “Accepted” me, my interests,
they never judged the way I wanted to look and encouraged me to be myself.

But when I was around other people who I felt judged me (everyone else) I began to put on a mask,
and I never really felt like I fit in, it made my adolescent years very difficult.

How our generation dramatically changed.

Nowadays, there are a lot more “clicks” which I think is good in a few ways, but bad in others.
These “clicks” give teens so many different ways to express themselves and their individuality – it is easier to find friends who accept you and have similiar interests.

Bad side: you get labelled, and you sometimes get caught up in it, and start to accept the label that other people give you.

What we need to do is stop labelling one another.
Why? Because everyone changes, the world changes, something that once was, isn’t always.

The whole labelling thing can be dangerous, it limits you to a category.

We are not categories, we are individuals, you don’t need to be defined
by anyone but yourself!

So are you ready? Who are you? What do you like?

A song just came on, and I nearly changed it out of habit.
Do you change the music depending on who’s around?
Do you turn it down when people sit next to you on the train, or pull up next to you at the traffic lights?
Why?

Screw Society! Screw those randoms opinions of your music taste, don’t be ashamed.

Stop stopping yourself from doing these little things..
Stop changing the way you dress in fear of judgement.

I have always wanted to wear those cute choker necklaces for example, but I get nervous (dont ask why) some how because I’m a mum
with tattoos and piercings, that people will judge me for wearing one?? So silly! Screw it, I’m going to do it. And I’m going to shamelessly post 4930845 pictures of myself wearing one! haha! #shameless #shamelesslyme



Maybe you’ve been afraid to voice your opinion in fear of scrutiny?

Well guess what hunny, we are all entitled to an opinion – if someone disagrees.. not the end of the world. Move along.

The first way to un-mask yourself,
are you ready?

Stop altering small parts of yourself, your personality, your values,
and your looks to fit the criteria of others perception of “perfect”.

Be you, shamelessly.

Try and start today.
How to start being YOU today – Small Steps

Send in a pic holding a sign and hashtag #shamelesslyme #noshame #unmasked

and send it in to [email protected]
to be featured on this page!
Join the movement 🙂

MWA!

Outcasts of todays society – Unmask Your True Self



What the hell is self talk?

Self talk is a proven way to help you overcome bad habits or
thought patterns that are currently affecting our mood and our lives.
Does self talk work?
YES ABSOLUTELY!

When I first discovered self talk I thought it was a load of rubbish,
and was set off to start fixing my life by buying things I wanted,
or things that made me look and feel better.. but then I’d look in the mirror
and go BLERGH YUCK WHAT IS THIS ABOMINABLE CREATURE?! I’d then go off about my
day worrying about how I looked or what people thought of me simply because
I didn’t like what I saw, I re confirmed it by thinking it in my mind,
and then acted upon that each and every day.

Do you do this?

It’s such a vicious cycle and we get sucked into it so easily,
for example the famous “Mean Girls”.. “My pores are huge.. I have really bad breath in the morning”..
We as women (males too) constantly criticise ourselves over what? Media?
Pictures of models or a “normal body” we criticise ourselves over being
a good girlfriend or wife – I’m not good enough, they don’t love me..
by comparing ourselves to what we see others do or people that have it good “online”.
This is all we see, because it is all we WANT to see.

What if you changed the way you thought..

How do you feel when a friend of yours who is pretty and skinny says
“ew I look gross today, or my tummy is so big”.. you give them a death stare.
Why? Because you don’t believe what they’re saying.. did you get mad at them?
“Oh p*ss off, you’re so skinny I’d kill to look like you”..

We need to stop this. It is so poisonous and we are ALL guilty of it.

There is a difference that we need to be careful of though,
there are people who will complain about themselves simply for attention
(yes, it’s true), sometimes it’s nice to hear compliments from people when
you are feeling down about yourself, sometimes you just need an affirmation that you look good.
And then there are the people who actually in their own minds, do not own themselves,
they do not believe or love themselves, they do not see their true inner beauty,
and they definitely don’t see how beautiful and lucky they are to be given this
wonderful opportunity to make a life for themselves!

 

I used to struggle with it a lot. My personal experiences (that will come out through posts eventually)
really affected me, or rather I let them affect me, and I continued to feed the negative self thoughts,
without realising it would make it so much harder to back track and change those habits in the future.

Well now I’m there.. 10+ years later, and only over the past few years ( about ¾ years ago)
I decided to change everything, and find myself, find my self worth again and start from scratch.
Let me tell you it was scary, and hard, and I had fall backs and set backs thrown at me like you
wouldn’t believe. But through it all, here I am. Still fighting, still loving myself and
telling myself daily what I’m worth, and not accepting anything less.

It’s all a state of mind, and the earlier you realise it the better.

If you’re doubting this while reading right now then hopefully I’m pointing
out right now another of your negative habits, looking for help and denying
it or rejecting it before actually putting in 100% effort.

If you are, STOP doing it, replace it RIGHT NOW with,

“I recognise right now that I am thinking negatively and having lots of doubt in myself
being able to achieve this.. BUT I choose to start believing, I choose to start being positive,
I choose to make a change, I choose to let this all soak in, I choose to TRY and start affirming
myself positively and changing my thoughts. I WANT to be free, I WANT control over myself,
I WANT to be happy, I WANT to love what I see in the mirror everyday and I WILL”.

 

Self help tips and excercises.

Self talk is initially about listening: listen to yourself, what are you telling yourself daily?
What thoughts are you processing and why? Are they positive or negative?

Girl, you have so much power in your mind, you just need to tap into it to get started.
Really think about it, and eventually you will start to notice that you do these
things and have negative thoughts a lot of the time for different things.
If you notice them start to write them down in a journal.

For each negative I want you to write a polar opposite, something to be positive about,
or change the words around- make them pro-active thoughts.

Example: “I hate the way I look in shorts”… Why? What can you do about it?
“I am not happy with the way I look in shorts because I think my legs are huge,
so from now on I can accept that as a part of me and decide to be happy
and settle, or I can change it, and start going for a 10 minute walk a day…”

“I hate my hair”.. why? What are you going to do about it? “I hate my hair so
I’m going to look up styles to fix and try something new.. but I don’t have money…
but I will not let this barrier stop me, I can ask friends to help me fix up my hair..
or start saving up to get a colour”…

Instead of focusing on the negative, focus on the things you can do to change it into a positive..
Not so hard when you read it huh?
Seem silly? NO, STOP!

Start affirming yourself daily

Whatever your goal is, you need to identify it.

Whether it’s “love myself ultimately” or “make the most out of life” or maybe it’s just
that you want to “start my journey to finding myself and being positive about my image slowly”..

Whatever your chosen goal, you need to start positively affirming yourself in regards to that.

Example: I want to accept my looks or love my looks- your positive affirmation
for the day would be something like

“I am a beautiful person on the inside and out,
I am going to start loving myself, and appreciating myself for who I am as a person.
Though I may not see my true beauty myself, I am starting to accept that I am me and I love me.”
You can even start with something very simple- “Today I am going to look at myself in the mirror,
and say, you are beautiful, you are in control of YOU”.

You may not believe it at first, but that’s okay!
It does seem silly, and make sure no one sees you doing it or they may
be scared off (hehe), you don’t even have to say it out loud!

Try starting with one affirmation a day, you can also try writing it all out. (Writing helps me loads!)

Each day gradually build up your self talk, you will notice over time that your self talk goes from specific things,
and as you begin to love and accept yourself, your positive self talk gets shorter and shorter and more generalised ..
because you’ve learnt to let go of things that are negative, and focus on the positives in life.
AND WHAT A GREAT TIME THAT WILL BE!!

When did you notice that you were starting to love yourself more? Leave a comment below!

Train your Mind Muscles

Get out your mental rifle, and shoot down those negative thoughts as they appear.

This step is so important, which is why you will probably find me repeating it over several pages.

Think of yourself as a gun, with a trigger, loaded with unlimited bullets.
Throughout your day you may begin to notice that you’re thinking something,
and that it’s making you feel like crap, it’s making you sad, making you anxious,
making you not want to go out and socialise, maybe it makes you want to curl up in bed and not show your face..

You need to mentally pull your own trigger, and shoot down those nasty, negative thoughts. Bang. As soooon as they surface.
Why do these thoughts make us feel like this?

Because you are literally keeping them alive by feeding your thoughts subconsciously.

Maybe you don’t mean to.. maybe it just happens.. want to know why that is?
Because in the past, (or now) something has happened that has caused you to feel badly,
your brain remembers the bad thing that happened, and everything that is associated with it,
then when we are in this situation again, the same feelings come back,
and we start to think in the same ways simply because that is how we experienced it last time..

We LET ourselves get like that, we LET experiences and traumas affect us
( and unfortunately in some cases it is something people cannot move past
and end up experiencing Anxiety and Depression.. Read More..)

But if we don’t mean to do it, or be like this, or if we don’t mean to be
negative towards ourselves then how can we possibly stop it from happening?

Ah! See that’s where we go back up top, and read about our thought patterns and how we form habits from experiences.
Imagine this, I’m going to try and give you a mental picture here.. bare with me LOL

Imagine our thoughts are like tiny little seeds, we’re going to start with negative thoughts.

Once these negative thought seeds have been thought up,
that one seed breaks and scatters into thousands of tiny pieces of that one thought,
it pollutes and starts harvesting in our minds.
These seeds are being fed and spreading like a disease on a daily basis-
either by adding new negative self thoughts on top of them, or by searching
around your mind for the little fragments of past thoughts for something to grasp onto and form more seeds.
Make sense?

So pretty much, if you are talking to yourself negatively every day or frequently
then you are creating memories and negative thoughts.. things for you to draw off in times of mental crisis..
and of course your mind goes straight to those same thoughts and you panic or start feeling like cr*p.

Imagine we could turn this around and make it positive,
so that you have positive thoughts, memories and experiences in times of crisis or anxiety..
in the times we doubt ourselves, if we had a whole field full of wonderful thoughts to draw from..
wouldn’t that be a much better place to be?

Build those mental tools, build muscles in your mind,
build up a barrier that noone but you can access or break.
Set your boundaries, what thoughts will I allow and which I wont.
Which thoughts are healthy, affirming, and will help me be happy and positive?
Focus on those. You’re doing so great already.

Keep checking back or join my mailing list to be the first to know
when more self love/worth posts come in to help you on your journey!

Are you going to let your own opinion of yourself, make you feel miserable for the rest of your life?
Is that how you really want to live? No!

Start changing these thoughts today, these are the first steps to loving yourself, discovering yourself and your self worth.
What is self worth and what can I do about it?

I would love to hear your feedback, how has self talk helped you?
What methods of self talk do you use daily?
Maybe I’ve missed something and you’d like me to add it to help others!
You can get in touch here.

Join the movement, #youreworthit #selfworthissexy #worthitmovement
If you would like to be featured on the page as an advocate for self love/worth,
get in touch or simply send a photo of yourself to [email protected] to join the movement!

MWA

Self Talk and How It Helps You Understand Your ...


10 tips on How to be civil with your baby Mummy/Daddy.

Co-parenting 

Parenting has changed.

Having a happy, together family was always our number 1# goal.

Things don’t always go the way we expect them too.

Co-parenting is hard.

Especially if you and your baby mama/dada are struggling to get along.


Here are some wonderful tips that have personally helped me during my co-parenting journey over the last 7 years.



1-  Remember that your child is 1# priority. 

Simple, it’s not about you, it’s not about them. It’s about your little bundle/s of joy!

 

2- Remember that everything you do and say reflects onto your child.

What they see, hear and experience shapes them as a person and will show highly in their values as they get older.

3- Remember that fighting and arguing with the other parent is a no-no!

Conflict is something that children do not need to be exposed to.

Do you want your child to think it’s okay for them to speak to someone like that.. do you want them to think it’s okay to let others yell at them? No!

You have a miniature copy cat/s watching your every move. Fighting/arguing in front of the kids shows more about you than it does anything else, we know you care, but conveying it by yelling sends the opposite message to your child.

If you need to “chat”, do it outside or somewhere away from little ears.



4- Don’t speak badly about your child’s other parent no matter WHAT! 

This is probably one of the hardest things to deal with, especially if the other parent hasn’t been particularly nice to you or your child, it’s also very hard if they have rarely been present in your child’s life.

Children will soak up everything they hear, especially when it comes from your mouth. If you’re saying horrible things about someone they love it can be very stressful for children, it can ultimately ruin their relationship with the other parent.

No matter how bad you think your ex is, don’t.

Believe me when I say, when your child gets older they WILL know, they will see what you see, and they will see how much you have done for them and will follow in your footsteps. They will be capable of making their own choices and decisions in a few years so be prepared to step back and let them find their own way guided by the values you have role modelled for them.




5- Don’t talk about things that aren’t child related! 


I’ve seen many people who are civil with their ex, but it begins to become more complicated when other factors come into play, eg. New partners, friends, new things in your life, social media.. (tip- don’t have them on social media unless absolutely necessary).
If you don’t get along, that’s okay! Just keep the conversation based around your child and their needs.





6- Have a schedule/routine. 


This is very important and sticking to a schedule will help reduce any miss communications.

Have set times/days each week for the ex to call and speak to you or the child/ren, Stick to the schedule!

This goes both ways.

Don’t change plans last minute!

 


7 Have good communication. 


Very important! If you are struggling to be civil with the ex, it is always a great idea to have a mediator. In this situation a mediator could be a friend, sister, or parent who can mediate the conversation between both of the parents and they do all the face to face drop off’s to save confrontation.

This is an excellent idea if you feel you or the other person can’t control themselves. When and if you feel ready, sit down with that mediator and the other parent to discuss changing drop offs/communication if you’ve decided you can bare to start doing it without a mediator anymore.

8- Compromise.

This is also a very big factor, after all there is only one Christmas, Easter, and Birthday a year. This becomes difficult when parents are separated, even more so if the parents have new partners.
This can become up to 4-6 Christmas events for one child!
These times of year can be very stressful for a child, this is why it’s good to have that schedule set in.
When you make it, clearly work out and compromise with the other parent who will get to see the child on what days and times,
this saves conflict and confusion closer to the event.
Sometimes things come up, you may want to take a trip on the other parents weekend but you want to take your child..
just communicate, compromise and work something out that suits everybody. This goes both ways.

9- Don’t text! 


This was always one that personally got to me, when you’re texting someone it is so easy to read

a message wrong, or read the “tone” wrong, this can cause conflict between parents.

Don’t let them get away with, “I texted you two weeks ago!”.. If you need to organise things try and do it over the phone!

If you can’t do that, email is also good, remain civil, and don’t forget to keep the conversation based on the children.

10- Reflect.

Do I have a plan and schedule? 

What happens if we have an argument? What if my plans change? 

What if my child doesn’t want to

go to the other parents house? 

These are all things that are great to reflect on, what could I have done differently? What would make my

child the happiest? Have solutions to different situations so you can handle them if they arise. If all else fails, use a mediator!



Here are some great links for further information: 

Co-parenting: Getting the Balance right

Co-parenting: Michael Scott

Christina Milian: 5 Co-Parenting tricks I’ve learnt

Enjoy your child, understand that your love, security and support are most important to your child.


If you have any more co-parenting tips/advice/articles feel free to link them or get in contact!

Don’t forget to subscribe.


Mwa – Roses Paige

10 Tips on How To be Civil with your ...


You don't have to feel like this anymore.

Do you frequently hear yourself saying,

‘I’m Not Good Enough, Noone Will Ever Love Me, I’m so ugly!”..

Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you deserve less than you’re worth. THAT INCLUDES YOURSELF!

“Beauty thrives and blossoms within powerful women who understand that the only limits in life are the ones you’ve subconsciously created in your mind.”

It’s okay to have days where you dont ‘love yourself’.

In fact I think the “ultimate guides to happiness” are kind of skewed.

You can be ultimately happy, but let’s be honest, we ARE women….

There are going to be days when our hair looks crap or our makeup sweats off,

when our car breaks down or it’s getting to that time of the month and you just need one of those “feel sorry for myself” days.

Well here, we CELEBRATE these sorry days, because emotions are variable, your state of mind is able to change. And if we don’t feel upset sometimes, how can we measure our happiness?

It’s okay to have a day in bed in your trackies laying around eating icecream and drinking wine.

Accepting your self worth

When you value yourself as a person you disregard other peoples desire to change you,

the need to impress dissappears, the need to justify yourself and your actions.

You disregard the need to depend or rely on others, you become so much stronger and confident in yourself.

What have you noticed about people that are really happy and successful in their lives?

Well I have noticed that most of them, they know the value of themselves, they know their self worth,

they know what they have to offer to the world and are going out and getting it aren’t they?

Do you think they were always like that? You keep telling yourself

“nahh, but they are beautiful that’s why they’re successful, or they must’ve had a big inheritence, they look good so why wouldn’t they love themselves?”

Stop telling yourself that.

Do you think every successful, happy person has had an awesome life?

That none of them were ever bullied, raped, told they were ugly, felt self consious or low.. that none of them ever hit rock bottom or felt depression or anxiety.. that none of them were ever in a position where they thought they were worth nothing.. were dumped.. heart broken..

NO.

Everyone has been in the same situation as you probably are right now. Especially me!

You can own your self worth, you can be confident and love yourself, even if right now you don’t think you can.

“But how can I be happy when I don’t love myself?”

Answer these questions:

Why don’t you love yourself?

Are these opinions ones you have formed on your own, or from words or opinions of others?

Why do you have these opinions of yourself?

Has something happened in the past that has made you think or feel this way about yourself?

Can you remember a time when you felt really happy? When and why was that?

Do you constantly talk down on yourself when you look in the mirror or to your friends/family?

Do you spend hours over analyzing yourself or your body pointing out flaws you see?

Maybe you get upset because someone doesn’t like you or doesn’t want to be your friend because of how you look?

Maybe you’ve been stuck in a really bad relationship where you have been

treated like a piece of crap.. this can have a big impact on your self worth-

especially if it seems to have happened to you on more than one occasions.

It is so hard to build yourself back up once you have forgotten your self worth!

So so hard, and if you’re reading this I commend you because you’re doing the

right thing by looking up ways to improve your life!

Good job girl, this is what I’m here for.

Maybe you’ve had a family member or a friend tell you you’re not good enough,

or maybe they made you feel worthless.

Well despite that, it’s happened and where we are NOW is important.

I want you to forget the past, forget what’s happened to you, forget how you’ve been hurt, forget the negative thoughts for a second.

Focus on right now, now you are reading this, how are you feeling now?

Still worthless? Like nothing you read will help.. why are you here and reading this then?

Of course I’m going to be nice, but if I’m writing in capitals, I am trying to get a point across very much so,

and it may be because I might think you’re doubting yourself again.. and how do I know?

BECAUSE I HAVE 100% BEEN THERE BEFORE! SO STOP DOUBTING YOURSESLF AND START SOAKING THESE WORDS IN WOMAN!

If you are still doubting, stop, start being positive right now.

In your mind read this.. I mean it.. don’t skip it. Just read it and let it mull.

“I choose right now to take in these words, to believe the truth in them, that I am just starting my journey,
it is not going to be easy, I will doubt myself, I will have set backs, but when I feel myself start falling into old,
self destructive habits, I am going to replace them with good habits.
When I start criticising myself in the mirror, I will immediately recognise it and STOP.
I will tell myself I don’t have to think like that. I will replace it with a positive remark, I own my self worth.
I will not drag myself down, I am a good person, I will not let other people or my mind define who I am,
what I’m worth, or what I should be. I am in control of myself, my body, my mind, my actions, my thoughts,
and I choose to control them positively, I choose to not let negativity affect me. It may not happen straight away,
but I will keep repeating these things to myself until I know for a fact that they are true.”

 

Here’s where you get excited.. are you excited?

I’m actually grinning right now, knowing that if one single person reads this and sticks too it,

that they will be confident and know their value and self worth.. and that thought is so bloody

exciting because I tell ya, there is nothing more powerful than being in charge of yourself!

It is difficult to master, being confident without being overly confident,

I feel like I’m “pretending” to be confident sometimes (because I have always been self consious about my looks),

but I don’t care, you gotta have that attitude, the;

“Watch me live my life glamorously,

I don’t rely on or need anyone but myself.” Attitude.

You ARE worth it, and even if you don’t believe it yet.. atleast you know I do, I am gunning for you,

go out there and get what you deserve.

Small Steps, Big Changes.

Making small steps is what it’s all about, none of this TAKE THE LEAP crap.

Sometimes it’s appropriate to take a leap, but when it comes to your mind, your body,

and having control over yourself and your thoughts, you don’t really want to go all in if you’re terrified and it will set you back a few more weeks.

We can save the BIG LEAPS for later.

What Are Some Small Steps I can Take To Loving Myself?

1. Cut out the toxic, poisonous snakes in your life, they take you of track and sting you when you’re down.

2. Surround yourself with positivity, positive people who are moving forward in their own journey in life.

3. Surround yourself with love, with people who only want to uplift you, not drag you down!

4. Be around like-minded people who challenge and inspire you to be a better person in every area.

5. These people are GOLD, they will truly lend you a hand in your darkest days.

6. You deserve the best of friends, if they’re treating you otherwise, it might be time to #breakthoselinks

7. Trust yourself, you’re worth it.

Loving & Accepting Yourself

Accepting and loving yourself doesn’t always mean that you have to look

in the mirror and say “I’m beautiful” and start believing it..

though this does help.. I feel that accepting and loving yourself has

much more to do with who you are as a person than the way you look.

Looks aren’t everything, and if we were all stripped down to our personalities, how many friends do you think you would have?

 

I was thinking yesterday, what if there was no such thing as mirrors or reflections..

if we had never truly seen what we look like through another persons eyes, (just go with it), you would simply go off what other people tell you..

But how would you really know? You wouldn’t and I don’t think you would mind as much,

if you didn’t know, then it would be easier to form connections based on interests and

build strong friendships based on our personalities, wouldn’t that be nice.

You are so much more than your reflection in the mirror…

I have personally struggled with my image and body for a very long time, but in saying that

I completely love myself! I know I’m an awesome person! Because I choose to believe it.

I choose to be the way I am. I choose to live happily, I choose to love myself as a person.

Because if I don’t love who I am, I’m going to constantly second guess and doubt myself,

which will in turn present issues in relationships or friendships because I don’t

think I’m good enough or worth it.. That there might be someone better.

We need to learn things that are in our control and those which are not.

People is one of them.

Want to know what you can control?

You. Your mind. Your life. Your purpose. Your destiny.

Crazy right.. Who knew you were in charge of all of that.

But in saying that, we are also in control of what we say, what we put into our bodies, our actions.

So why are we obsessed with trying to change things that are out of our control?

Maybe we feel like we, ourselves, are not in control of our own lives.
Maybe your parents have rules on you, maybe other people outcast you in a friendship group and now you’re lonely..
or maybe something horrible happened in the past which forces you to constantly relive it and get down in the dumps.

 

See, this is where we need to see, that these last few things, are things that have happened

due to things that are out of our control- I.e being born into a family with protective parents,

the actions of so called “friends”.. we can’t change what others do.

But we can control how you react to the situation, what you say to your “Friends” in this situation,

how you speak to your parents or treat them, how you react when you’re frustrated or angry.

Self Control is a topic we can touch on later.

BEGINNING TO ACKNOWLEDGE HOW MUCH YOU’RE WORTH

When you acknowledge your self worth anyone who opposes you has already lost the war. It’s like fighting a losing battle.

Your armor is too thick, you are too strong to let anything penetrate that wall. When you start to believe it, and believe in yourself, others will too.

Everyday- we should be telling ourselves what we deserve in life, how you deserve to be treated, what you want out of life- go over your goals, how are you going to achieve the life you want?

Start planning today.

 

Want your picture to be featured on this page?

Send in a picture of yourself holding a sign or hastags #imworthit #worthitmovement #selfworthissexy

to [email protected] to be featured here.

Work together, help other women value themselves and learn that #selfworthissexy

Want to be part of the team? You can get in touch here :)!

MWA

 

 

I’m Not Good Enough, I’ll Never Be Loved or ...



This may be a little(lot) controversial but…

I died recently.

I chose to die. 

Actually, I realised that I’d never been living.

Maybe it’s more the fact that I have made the distinction between living and being alive,
because today I realised that I have been non existent.

Well I’ve decided to choose life.

(This post does not include those who work online).

I had been living, dragging myself along the road, limbs hanging behind me,
trudging through the mud of this earth in a zombie like state for majority of my existence.

What’s it like to merely exist?

To be alive but not really living?

Tell me all about it as you’re staring at your phone,
or maybe I’ll just check your Facebook?

To be unaware that your impact on this world is nothing more than
a name and an occasional friendly face is actually embarrassing.


Who are you? Why are you here? What are you doing here being
alive and breathing in air but not exerting anything of purpose?
Anything beneficial to anyone else but yourself?

You tell me..

We make the world go around. And you can either participate in the
sharing of potential, or you can sit and reep all the benefits this
world has to offer, selfishly, and not do a thing. Watch this world
and time fly by, and cuss out when things don’t go your way.

Before today I had been a silent being. Just going day by day,
doing what I have to do to provide for my children and myself,
what I can for my friends and family by being there for them.
But what good does that do to anyone else?
What good does it even do to me when I’m so consumed?

Read on to understand.

Today I have decided to awaken, become alive, to start living.

We are stuck, with our devices so far in our faces that a
few minutes without our phone and we think we’ve gone blind,
we’ve lost our sense of purpose, all in a little hand held device,
a screen, that houses billions of people, their secrets, opinions, fears.

We may as well all move in together since we know each other so well.

Want to know who’s dating who, who did what, where that person is,
what they look like now.. Just pick up your phone, don’t call them,
because you probably have never even met them, but just go on their profile.
Yep there it is.

Isn’t it crazy to think how much people we have never even layed eyes
on probably know about us and our deepest darkest secrets?
Well they don’t really know us though do they?

Last week I died of embarrassment.

This was when I realised what I’d known all along,
that this social media is ruining lives. My life.

We put so much trust in our phones/devices to be there for us everyday,
as our comfort, our knowledge, our gossip, knowing everything.
We put it all in this device, because we can’t trust actual people.
And why can’t we trust people in the first place? Probably from all
these devices and apps. I guess it’s not as easy to hide now though.

I’m sick of it and I’m so embarrassed.

Don’t like being bullied online?
Then don’t subject yourself to it anymore!
Stop! Don’t let it affect you!

Delete it, delete those negative people you only have on there to lurk.
Why do you do it?

Why? It is consuming us!

What happened to calling your friends on the home phone to listen
to their voice, things they would actually say, get to know the real them?
We’re being deceived because it is all fake.

What is REAL is what we see in front of us, what have you seen today?

Your phone screen? Maybe the TV.. an attractive person or an accident
that happened to draw your attention away from your phone for a few seconds?

How about the sky today? Isn’t it beautiful? Isn’t the world amazing how
although it’s cold the beauty of this world is still breath taking to look at,
how about the trees? Have you noticed that it is autumn yet?
And how beautiful the leaves look in the sunlight when it shows itself?
How the leaves move swiftly in the breeze?

Put down your phone, be alive!

I decided to keep my phone away, to separate my life and my phone,
they are now separate things.


If you lost your phone, would you cope?

Or all your details and photos in there?

Would you ever be able to speak to your friends again?
Or would they think you’re ignoring them?

Sure I have some important things on here,
but the more important things are in my heart,
my head, and in front of my eyes(and in my wallet).

If I lost my phone I know that my real friends would come over looking for me.

Would yours?

Is this a wake up call?

Put down your phone and go for a walk!

Take a walk and LOOK where you are going rather than at
your phone or your feet, take out those headphones,
look at people and smile when you walk past, say good morning,
know your neighbours.

Take deep breaths when you look into the sky,
trust me you won’t regret it.

I have been doing this and I feel wonderful.

I even said good afternoon to an elderly man yesterday and he was actually
surprised that I spoke to him for the first time that he actually came out
of his front lawn to meet and talk to the kids and introduce us to his dogs,
we talked about our days. It was amazing. I couldn’t believe it.
Now we smile and wave and say hello when we walk past to daycare.

I want to live the old way, the best way, stay social, meet REAL people,
in real circumstances, meet a nice boy by chance or fate.
Not through the internet. Honestly.

Choose to start living,

Wake up, live god dammit.

I dare you to step into the real world.

Find yourself. – Mwa

Can’t seem to put your phone down?


2

So you’re pregnant?

If you’re looking for a wake up call that slaps you like a cold bucket of water to the face on a winters morning which doesn’t usually come until Labor day, then you can rip up your lottery ticket because you’ve certainly hit the jackpot.


These posts are humorously written underlining the bold truths and realities of becoming a mother, whether young or old, partnered or single, planned or unplanned you would be surprised as to how different the similarities are with each mothers experience.

Put your feet up, get comfy. This is a must read & it may take a while!

P.s I am in no way a doctor.. medical professional.. NO!

Do not take my advice, just read and laugh!

(I may also quote myself, why? Because I CAN!)

Finding out you’re pregnant – planned vs unplanned.

In my own personal opinion, finding out you’re pregnant at a young age is one of the most life altering, gut wrenching things a woman will ever discover in her lifetime, right up there alongside finding out you’re being cheated on, that you may have been wrong in an argument, and maybe you’re not that good at driving.

Finding out you’re expecting something you technically weren’t expecting almost blows up your mind Hiroshima style, so much so that you have to do a whole other 23 tests just to confirm you haven’t suddenly needed glasses.

It’s never easy when you’re young and not in a position to take care of a child of your own, partnered or not, especially when you still have posters of hunks from Girlfriend magazine taped to your walls and are barely hitting the legal drinking age.

Truth is, you’ll probably spend the next few weeks hibernating under your covers, barely able to see your clothes on the floor due to the mass amounts of tissues piling around you. 

If this sounds like you, you’re not alone. 

“Many girls go through the same journey every year feeling lonelier than ever, but if you know where to look there is plenty of help out there. Luckily enough after braving the “telling the parents” part, I was supported throughout the whole journey as a single mum by my family and close friends. I was pointed in the right directions as to Health Services for young women in my area, where they helped me with all of my appointments and blood tests etc. I was not financially stable to raise a child alone, but after finding myself in the right frame of mind I sought out help and what payments I was entitled too until I could start work. Finding out was the most terrifying part (besides labour), but the joy that comes with loving your child as it grows inside you is the most exhilarating, eye opening experience in the world that it outweighs the initial shock.” – Sami 

“Planning to have a child in the future with your partner is exciting, especially when you get pregnant quicker than initially expected. Lots of couples struggle with trying for a baby for months on end before getting any results, and others, have no luck at all. Apparently though, I’m pretty fertile. I did the good old pee test with a girlfriend waiting outside just to rule pregnancy out of the equation as to why I felt so sick. I came out of the bathroom with tears welling in my eyes screaming at my girlfriend, “WHY IS IT POSITIVE?! IT’S POSITIVE! OH MY GOD THERE’S A BABY IN MY BELLY, WHAT DO I DO?!” of course my first instinct was to do more tests to confirm, and sure enough there was 2 lines just as I’d hoped. I was shaking in fear, thinking what the hell why did I do this again I just got skinny, haha! My excitement grew as I waited impatiently for my partner to come home from work so I could share the news. Turns out he was pretty thrilled, I could tell by the way he ran all the way down the driveway, picked me up and spun me around. I was just thinking, yeah I bet you’re happy you don’t have to get fat or try and push this thing out! Jokes aside, it brought us closer the next few months and we constantly argued about girl names, settled on a boys name, we’d talk for hours about who it would look like and what we wanted for the future. It was good while it lasted. Sharing the love of a child with a partner was something I hadn’t yet experienced, but was far more exciting.” – Sami

Who to tell and who not to tell, can you make it to the 12 week mark?


Knowing you have a child growing inside of you is probably one of the hardest secrets to keep because it’s something you want to scream from the rooftops so that even people you don’t know feel your joy.

Most pregnancies nowadays are kept a secret until the 12 week mark as after then the rate for miscarriage is substantially lower, and usually only close friends and family are the only people to know until then, some people wait longer, and some don’t tell people at all. Can you imagine the shock? Every decision in life that needs to be made is always done with reason and personal choice, there is no right or wrong.


“One thing I found when I was pregnant is that I immediately wanted to tell everyone because I wanted them to share my happiness, but I was quick to discover that “friends” and/or family were quick to over analyse, speculate and judge. I personally don’t blame them because I understand that every is entitled to their own opinion, and judging by the situation I was in they would assume the worst. I think it’s actually really horrible, you share your word with people you thought were close to you and they shovel piles of negativity onto you, your child and your decisions. It really puts a damper on the whole thing and does not help in the least. I guess it was a learning curve for me, I lost a lot of people in my life during my pregnancy, it seemed they decided it meant my life was over and a lot of people just slowly walked out on me. From the whole thing I learnt that I loved telling everyone about my surprise, and the people who were unsupportive and judgemental no longer held a place in my life, and to me that doesn’t matter anymore because truly caring people will always be by my side and I’d rather my child be born into a loving, supportive environment than anything else.” – Sami

 Ultrasounds.


Before an ultrasound, depending where you go, you may have to strip down to your underwear and throw on an over garment or you may not. You’re pretty much advised to drink enough water to fill a pool, don’t take it too seriously, if you drink too much chances are they will make you let a little loose to empty your tummy, good luck with holding the rest in! If there isn’t enough water in there they may just ask you to drink a little more and then try again.

You drink that little too much, you might find the pressure on your tummy outrageous and next minute you find yourself about to wee all over the doc! Not fun for anyone. 

 

You’re very welcome.

So all that goes on in the routine ultra sounds is you lay back and they pull the sheet or your top up to rest just under your bra, lube up your belly and place their little hand held thingy (looks and feels kind of like a roll on deodorant stick) on your belly and they gently push it around so they can get a good view of bub, usually takes around halfa give or take whether bub is cooperating so the doc can take all sorts of weird measurements, they usually fill you in on what they are measuring and it’s so good seeing little bub up on the screen that you will most likely cry your little heart out so much that you’ll almost forget how badly you need to pee.


Ultrasound story “I was catching a bus with my two good friends to my first ultrasound, only having just found out I was pregnant. We were on the bus and there I was finishing off the 2 litres of water they told me to drink beforehand. All of a sudden I felt ill, it was mid summer and the heat was getting to me. My friends asked the bus driver to pull over and he refused saying we must wait until the next stop.Before I knew what was happening I turned to the aisle and threw up my entire stomach contents including the 2 liters of water all over this poor girls legs! She was in her late teens, wearing short shorts, a pair of thongs.. and now my entire regurgitated lunch! The bus driver pulled over, I apologized profusely and got off, the girl just sat there mortified! I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life.. ” – Courtney, 22.


Your jeans getting a little tighter.. 

 


So I bet you’ve noticed that your pants are getting a little tighter hey?

“I think we all go into the pregnancy thinking, I’m not going to let myself go just because I’m pregnant, I’m still going to look good in clothes, I’m going to rep being pregnant, and then when our pants start getting a little tighter we have a mental breakdown. It’s hard putting on weight and knowing you can’t do anything about it, and it’s only going to get worse. We can’t consider buying a size up in jeans, so we head for the maternity sections only to be welcomed with a big bunch of crap that looks like something your grandmas great aunt wouldn’t even wear if she had to choose between it and a paper bag. (Tip: You can find some cute maternity wear on e-bay for a decent price) once you sod off home and cry about it you decide your leggings and singlets will suffice.” – Sami


At first we embrace it and wear all our usual clothes until it’s skin tight, our belly’s are protruding out the bottom and our tits are escaping our tops like Prisoners of Azkaban. It is completely okay to stay in your trackies and uggies all day! (every day) You’re destined to put on more weight on your belly so that you look hideous in almost everything you own, not to mention the sets of double chins and hey there thunder thighs.

Your job right now is to take care of yourself while your body is creating another human inside of you, not to win Next Top Model or fashion queen of the year award.

No one really looks like a celebrity whilst pregnant.. besides celebrities, so unless you for some reason have a media crew of paparazzi following you around then don’t stress yourself out about your appearance. 


Now could be the last time that you get to be fat on purpose for a perfectly acceptable reason, so why not let yourself go! (Of course once bub is born you can use the “I just had a friggen baby” excuse for having extra weight.. and when they’re a toddler, “I have kids okay”..When they’re in school then maybe that’s a better time to start stressing about your appearance).

” I can tell you from a guys point of view that up until the last trimester we find preggy chicks attractive” – Rob, 25.

The joy of t*ts.

Ah pregnancy t*ts, one of the joys right? True, your breasts to increase a lot. Enjoy it while it lasts darling. Going up a few sizes is one of the highlights, though towards the end they can be more of a pain than a gain. Not only are they enlarged but they are also about 743 times more sensitive, and although nice to look at, your partner may seem to think that they are now his new toys which can be pretty painful if he’s not gentle.

What they also don’t really tell you, is to buy breast pads for use while pregnant, not just breast feeding, Many women start lactating in the last few weeks of pregnancy, and if you’re not readily prepared you could be shocked to find stains the size of saucers around your nipples. Not a nice look, or smell either.

Appointments and supplements and needles

One thing you never really get used to is the appointments etc. Ever found yourself thinking, “I thought you just get really fat and emotional then 9 months later you pop out a baby no questions asked..” Of course you could choose to carry on your pregnancies alone with no medical help, I strongly advise you at least see a GP or do some serious researching on the necessities.

I don’t think any pregnancy book or website will tell you exactly what to expect because truth is, you can never ever expect what you’re in for, ever.

No way.

It is always a different experience for every single mother and father. Back to it, in time you’ll have appointments booked almost every 2nd week (that’s if everything is going well), you will have supplements coming out your ass, and needle marks up your arms from being jabbed a zillion times. If people say they don’t mind needles, they’re lying, Noone likes having them. 

You do have to get a bit of blood taken whilst preggo just to test for certain things, it’s for yours and bubs safety, so just get it done. Don’t overthink it.

The only one that might make you sweat is the glucose test, we’ll leave that one for you to find out for yourselves, bottoms up!

As for the supplements etc, your GP or midwife will help you out with which ones are advised to take and so on, they will also give you a huge list of foods to stay away from.

Different foods and things can apparently cause all types of things to happen to your child, most of them are advised you stay away of, do be weary because it is up to you what you put into your body, just lay low on the soft serve ice cream, take away and sushi promise?

Always listen to your docs because they do know what they’re talking about in all aspects, if all else fails, Google yourself crazy on the can and cant’s and refer back to your doc.

Freaking out yet? Here’s a breakdown of the appointments.

There’s really nothing to get your knickers in a knot about just yet, majority of the appointments with the midwives are just the usual, chatting about you, the father, medical histories, height, weight, diet, taking your blood pressure and measuring.

Sometimes they will ask you to lay down to have a feel of your belly, nothing too suss, a little uncomfortable as you get bigger, don’t stress!

You don’t have to take your clothes off at this stage, maybe only lift your top up and pull your pants down a little, most of the midwives are women if that makes you feel any better.

The midwives are great, sometimes you’ll find yourself unlucky and catch one on a bad day, just remember they deal with a lot of unhappy patients and work very long shifts, don’t take it personally.

Midway through your journey they may do a swab for some things down below, sometimes they will do it and sometimes if you’re uncomfortable you can do it yourself.

All it involves is getting a cotton bud type stick thing (similar to those you shove in your ears), taking a trip the bathroom, dropping your pants and putting the swab pretty high up there to get a sample of whats inside, it only takes a few seconds. They send that off for testing, it’s usually accompanied by a urine test, which is the usual- drink until you’re about to explode, put the little cup where you assume your pee comes from and hope for the best, majority of which goes on your hands, but usually you can aim well enough to get it in or on the cup.

Please, do remember to thoroughly wash your hands after doing so, and dry the outside of the cup to save yourself the embarrassment of handing it back soaked in urine. 

Once your belly is a little bigger they will usually start trying to find the heartbeat, don’t fret, they don’t always get it the first time.

All you need to do for that is lay back, they but some lube type gel on your belly and pull out their little hand held microphone thingy and if they find it, you will hear bubs heart beating, sounds a bit like what a police siren on a car chase would sound like if only it were underwater, and distorted a bit.. over a radio.. But it is amazing to hear, gives you butterflies like nothing else.

Majority of the appointments are the same, sometimes if complications arise or simply just because you’re referred you may have have to see an obstetrician. They generally wont need to do an internal until you’re past 30 weeks, work yourself up for this one. Everyone dreads them, they aren’t pleasant in the slightest, once it’s been done it’s done.

There’s no erasing that crap from your memory. 

So what happens is you take your bottom half of clothes off and lay down, put a sheet on top of your legs that you pull up to where your underwear would sit, generally they ask you to make your hands into fists, and place them beneath your butt cheeks, and by then you’ll be tensing your knees together in fear, not many young woman have had pap smears or checks “down there”, and the first time can always be daunting.

You’ll be glad when it’s over but still dreading the next one. At least then you lost a little dignity and fear and next time there’s not as much to lose and you know what to expect so you can brace yourself. 

“Internals suck, I lived most days of my pregnancy fearing that they would ask to an internal on the spot and I wouldn’t be mentally or physically prepared for one, I mean.. no doctor had been there, my heart would race during every appointment, it’s one of those times when us women over think the situation.. Do we shave, do we get waxed before hand, what if I haven’t showered, what if there’s hair there, what if my f***y is abnormal or there’s an alien growing down there and I never even knew?! People always say, ‘Don’t worry, it’s their job, they do it on old ladies too, I’m sure they aren’t scared of a little hair down there’, Hell no, I was shaving that sh*t right off, I don’t want her peepin’ on my lady bits and judging me, she doesn’t know my life! Haha, honestly the first time sucked especially because I was in labor, it wasn’t pleasant and it was pretty uncomfortable but as soon as it was done, it was over. Whatever, it was nothing in comparison to the fact that I was about to try and push a watermelon out of my sultana!” – Sami

Morning sickness

 It would seem logical to have this topic earlier, but you should know I’ve strategically placed this towards the middle because by now you’re probably realising that morning sickness is NOT just in the mornings, and in most cases most certainly does NOT go away.

Some are lucky enough to not have it at all, but if you’re hoping to be part of that small minority then keep dreaming.

Not only might you be feeling constantly sick, the fun part is when your nose gets all sensitive and certain smells set you off, oh you just wait.

It’s like when you’re hanging out with some girlfriends and someone’s eating something that your has now decided it doesn’t cooperate with, just the THOUGHT of those items will either have you running to the bathroom straight off, or having you gagging so loud that your friends will cry with laughter, and once you compose yourself, wait until you start laughing about it.

Yep that’s right, laughing, yawning and/or coughing during morning sickness and/or being around those smells will make you gag like your belly’s full of maggots.

“I remember Jaymee bought me some cologne before she fell pregnant, and during her pregnancies and even still now I’m no longer allowed to wear it because she can’t stand it!” – Rob, 25.

TIP: Stay away from strong smells. get to know the things that set you off. Having some dry crackers and water next to your bed at all times is an excellent way to curb morning sickness. Before getting up sit in bed and relax for a while, have a few saladas/sakatas or whatever your choosing to settle your stomach before you get up for the day! It will help decrease the sickness you feel.

What not to name your baby

What they forget to mention about picking baby names is to think about the child’s future.

For example picking and regretting giving your child so many names, why? ‘Coz 4 years later you’re filling out enrolment forms and the name doesn’t fit and it’s a pain in your ass, or when you’ve named them something unique and you’re trying to seriously tell them off and saying the name seems ridiculous,

“YOU BETTER PUT THAT CHOCOLATE BACK IN THE PANTRY LEMON OR YOU’LL GET A SQUEEZING!” “YOU BETTER PUT THAT JUICE BACK IN THE FRIDGE CREAM OR YOU’LL GET A WHIPPING!”

Or giving your child names that they or others will never be able to pronounce. ” phteven” “mzranadeicefdth” “zxtwx” Your child’s name is their identifier throughout kinder and primary school until others decide to stick nicknames on them due to their appearance or habits, don’t make it easier by giving them a crappy name. If it’s “cool” now, by the time they’re in high school it wont be.

Tip: Try imagining holding your baby in your arms for the first time, what do you want to call them? I also imagined using different names in sentences and contexts.. does it sound funny? Can this name be turned into a rude word or does it rhyme with something bad?

Food, cravings, exercise & sleep.

Food. Probably one of the only words that will have a pregnant woman rolling right out of that bed and running(waddling) like she’s in the bloody Olympics. 

Food is a pregnant woman’s friend, most of the time. Some say you’re eating for two, what they don’t tell you is that it’s more like you’re eating on behalf of your whole damn country.

It is after all the only time you can eat mostly whatever you like, without having to pay the consequences of putting on weight, because lets face it, it’s bound to happen.

Can’t sleep? Aww that sucks, go have some water and back to bed.

Ummm no.

More like, hey there fridge long time no see.. just kidding it’s me again and I forgot to grab the whipped cream!

 

Yes the rumours are true, you do crave some pretty strange things whilst pregnant. Don’t be scared, unless you end up being one of those people who eat dirt.. or metal.. and things that aren’t really edible.

Usually it’s more like you want peanut butter on ice-cream or everything flavoured banana, but sometimes you get really strong urges for particular foods and you can’t put your mind at ease until you get that meat lovers pizza with no meat, extra garlic and Vegemite into your belly.

Sometimes during your pregnancy you’ll feel like eating everything in the whole damn supermarket, and some days you’ll be so put off food that even looking at it makes you want to gag, advice, keep eating, moderately healthily, if you’re missing out then bubs is missing out.

It is also suggested that you keep active during your pregnancy.. not sure if whoever said that had ever been pregnant before or not.. regardless, physical exercise will keep you going and make it easier to pick back up after bubs is born.

“I personally never exercised at all during my pregnancies.. or before hand for that matter, I did however do a lot of walking because I didn’t have a car, which was a pain in the ass but I guess it kept me active which was good! Hell no if I was going to be doing anything else that required any kind of physical activity from me! Keep dreaming. “ – Sami, 22.


Hormones/Whoremones

Obviously when you’re pregnant yes, your hormones do escalate, a lot. Not to mention if you’re a young mum you’ve probably only started hating all the changes you’ve discovered since recently going through puberty yourself, and now you’re going to put on weight whether you like it or not. Your body goes through a hell of a lot of changes during pregnancy, and most of it is overwhelming. If you were good at controlling your moods and temper on your period before, that’s probably going to go out the window. The thing with your hormones increasing is that most of the time they are uncontrollable, and sometimes it can be embarrassing.

 

You may find yourself watching T.V and balling your eyes out over something that usually you wouldn’t bat an eye at, like some nice jewellery, a cute puppy, or when you see a top that you know just wouldn’t fit you. Not only that, but everything baby related is bound to make you cry, oh and you can forget crime shows, you’ll start imagining every person young or old as if they were your own child and feel so upset at the thought of anybody being injured, and take the toll of the loss or hurt incurred upon yourself. 

What they don’t tell you about being pregnant/becoming a mother is that you’re given a new set of eyes, you come to a realisation that every person on this earth started off in a belly such as your own, and once was a helpless little child.

You take daily walks in other peoples shoes feeling all sorts of emotions on their behalf.

Jealousy is a well known whoremone to the growing baby mumma, anyone who looks great or is able to do anything that you are no longer able to is a now on the top of your hit list.

Your friend comes to visit, piss off you skinny b*tch, when they eat a normal sized meal, screw you skinny b*tch, passing on your old clothes to a friend, get lost loser I want them back when I’m skinny again. If you’re not pregnant don’t even look at me, you’ll never understand. Naturally hating anyone that’s smaller than you. I hate your new size 10 jeans, they’re ugly, my maternity jeans are way better..

Finding yourself staring at people and their soft serve ice creams or milkshakes with a hate unknown to man.. Walking behind someone slow and thinking “jesus I’m fat as hell and I’m faster than you, move your ass grandpa”, death staring anyone that gets in your way, “get the hell out of my way, pregnant lady coming through”. Thinking everyone should automatically part the waters for you like you have a giant “give way” sign on your forehead. 

People need to know, that whilst your partner or friend is pregnant, you do not have any legitimate reason to complain about anything at all, and anyone and everyone else’s opinion about anything to do with you or your child is invalid and unheard, even if you are also pregnant. 

We love to complain, it’s in a pregnant woman’s nature, so if we want something just do it, the complaining will not stop until the problem is resolved. It’s about the only time in a woman’s life that when she complains to a man that she actually wants him to come up with a solution and fix it right then and there, rather than telling her to get over it and or waiting ’till the 10th time she asks to do something about it.

Pregnant talk deciphered for men

What does my pregnant girlfriend/wife mean?

“Ouch, my back, feet or any body part is sore”Massage it. Right now. Get the oils (Make sure they are pregnancy safe ones).

“I’m hungry” = If you hear this, run, as fast as you can to the nearest store with a list of what she wants, do NOT suggest she make something or offer things in the cupboard.

“I’m not sure about this afternoon I’m too tired” “I’m going to have to waddle all the way there” “I’ll be the fattest one there” “I look disgusting” = Cancel whatever plans you both had, run her a warm bath, candles and all, make her a cup of tea and send her to bed.

“Hmm I have so much washing to do” “This bin is about to overflow” “So many dishes!” “Not enough pillows” = Anything of this nature, or that sounds like she’s talking to herself out loud, please note: these are not statements, nor questions. They have obviously hidden hints in which she wants you to pick up because doesn’t want to be a pain and ask. When you hear these things, you do not ask to help her with them, you simply do them without a peep. She will thank you later.

“Do I look fat in this?” “Should I buy this top? I’m scared it wont fit me” “This devil child is kicking the hell out of me” = It’s a trick, get the hell out of there, run, and go to your nearest store for food for her.

Will people judge me when I’m pregnant?

Judgemental Eyes

One of the things many women struggle with is being constantly judged and criticised for being pregnant at a younger age. The world around us has this way of looking down upon the younger generation for being pregnant, one look and they’ve formed a quick assumption that your child was an accident, and then the train of negative thoughts stops at all stations. 

What people don’t understand is that sometimes it’s not always the way it looks, just because someone is walking alone doesn’t mean they’re single, just because they look sad doesn’t mean they’re regretting their decision, just because they are in trackies and thongs with no makeup on or hair a mess doesn’t mean that they are on drugs or in it for the money, just because they wear shorts during summer doesn’t mean they must’ve been easy and don’t know who the father of the child is.

Just because she looks young, doesn’t mean she is, and just because she LOOKS pregnant, doesn’t necessarily mean she is! 

Next time you see someone who looks a little younger, and a little pregnant, rather than letting them know your harsh judgement with your eyes, try giving a smile. A smile because though young, she believes planned or not that it happened for a reason, and she is obviously planning on living her life doing everything in her power to provide for her child and give it exactly the same love as your mother gave you, and you gave your child. 

You want to talk about her mothering skills?

How about you wait until her child is grown up and have a discussion with them yourself.

Chances are that if you’re being horrible with your eyes, that she in turn is thinking about you and your crap ability to judge someone so quickly.

So when she gives you a smug smile, maybe try thinking about how it says more about you then her. 

The rude, outrageous things our pregnant brains think in relation to being stared at in disgust while judging us & wondering why we’re smiling at you

 

“Piss off you’re just jealous that you’re naturally fat and I’m 8 months pregnant and way hotter than you”

“What are you, 80? Gross” – to anyone who stares at you and looks a day older than you.

“You’re just jealous my baby’s going to be way hotter than yours, or you”

“You’re just jealous that I’m going to be a MILF”

“You wish you looked as good as this when you were pregnant”

 Mwa – Don’t be shy, get in touch! 
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Almost Everything You Need To Know About Being Pregnant



Do you have what it takes?

It’s 10am and the kids are still in their pajamas, as I’m pouring them bowls of Nutrigrain without milk since they prefer it that way, I had a second of doubt in my mind as to how good of a parent I really am.

Although we all know that parenthood is challenging, what they don’t tell you is that every day, every decision you made makes you second guess yourself and feel like the job you’re doing just isn’t enough.

I know I’m a good mother, but to say it and believe it are two different things.
But who’s to decide what’s good enough?

Because sometimes we skip bath time because we just can’t be bothered, and sometimes we let them get away with it when we know they’re being naughty just for that extra few minutes alone, and sometimes it’s tin spaghetti or toasted sandwiches for dinner, and ‘coz sometimes getting them dressed for the day is too much of a fight.

Sometimes letting them sleep in your bed is easier than missioning them back to their own, sometimes letting them have dessert when they didn’t finish their dinner doesn’t seem like such a bad idea knowing it will keep them quiet and happy for at least 5 minutes, or sometimes we buy them that special treat to avoid public tantrums and melt downs.

How about those times we don’t really listen to what they’re saying and just respond with “Mmm! Really! Wow!” Having no clue what they just said.

How about that guilt that comes after you sneakily run off to the toilet and lock the door, too late, they’ve found you and they’re screaming on the other side. Sometimes it just makes you want to put your head in your hands and cry.

 

When it comes down to us being exhausted, stressed, and just wanting a few minutes of silence or privacy, it’s worse, and always too much to ask without being overcome with a wave of guilt.
There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re putting your own needs for a break in front of your child’s endless list of wants and needs.

So where do we draw the line?
We don’t.

We continue to zombie on through the days and nights.

How?

Super human parent strength.

It is a real thing.

The ends we will go to for our children is amazing.
The nights we spend awake watching our sick child in fear of sleeping through them choking on their own vomit.. Then after a few days we catch the fever ourselves, causing exhaustion & frustration at the fact that you just want to rest but you can’t, you don’t get someone to take care of you, and you definitely do not get the privacy of throwing up in peace.

After everything we do for them, they still manage to misbehave and tell us they don’t like us for giving them a time out or not giving them ice-cream when they didn’t finish dinner.. But what about all those times I let you off?!

There’s nothing worse than feeling like a failure and even more so when you’re constantly being judged.

Us mothers all do it differently, but with the same thought process.

There is no right or wrong way to parent, as long as you do everything to meet their needs and they’re still alive and breathing at the end of the day, then that shows the love you have for them, regardless as to whether you’re smiling or not.

“Actions are a mothers signature of love.” – Sami

 

Waking everyday of your life doing everything in your power to provide for and meet your child’s needs is the biggest act of love one can give. You have dedicated every thought, every action, to better them, to benefit them.

It is the most selfless love in the world.

So when you want a break, or when you’re away from them and you feel guilty because you don’t miss them that much- it’s okay.
We will continuously doubt, and criticise our every action or thought regardless.

From one mother to another, you are fantastic! You’re doing a brilliant job!

If you need to lock yourself in the bathroom for that long overdue shower in private while the kids destroy the house, you go ahead hunny. You enjoy that shower. You know that as soon as you step out of that bathroom that you’ll be the one who takes care of the mess and the kids so..

 

A happy parent makes happy kids.
Take care of yourselves too.

Great ways to relax and take time off:


Accept that you’re stressed out and that you need a break! Don’t feel bad.

* Get a sitter and sleep all day.
* Laugh! Go to a comedy club, have drinks with some friends.
* Get a babysitter and have a night off or a weekend away.
* Go on a fishing trip/girls weekend
* Read a book, take a nice relaxing bath
* Excercise! Yoga, long walks, a trip to the beach.

If all else fails, build a time machine and go back a few years before you had kids!

Check out this link & infographic for tips on relaxation:

50 ways to relax & de-stress – For Free!

Infographic – 50 ways to relax

Super Human Parent Strength



Feel like you’re nit picking all the time? Feel like a nagger?
Here I am to save the day! I have created a hateful/grateful list template of my own to help you identify the GREAT(notsogreat) things your partners do, so that every time they begin their annoying habits again, you can look back at your list, laugh and remember the positive side of things.

(download PDF at end of post)


P.s If you didn’t pick up on it yet, this post is humorous. It’s a joke, but unfortunately my list is actually true!

 

Sure, you probably love your partners to the moon and back, but of course there is going to be some miniscule things they do that absolute drive you nuts!

So, I needed to find a way to show my partner how ANNOYING these things he does can be, and what better way to write a post about it?!


Here’s how to fill out your Hateful/Grateful list:

I’m HATEFUL when he:                              but..  I’m GRATEFUL when:


leaves his clothes all over the floor 😡he looks cute when he complains about having no clean clothes 👌
never asks me to do washing but complains when it’s not done 😡😡he washes his own clothes when he’s desperate  👍
does a load of his own washing and puts 3 things in the machine, then after uses the dryer to dry them..😡his stinky clothes don’t get mixed and washed with mine  👍👍👍
hangs up wet towels over the top of every bedroom door to dry so we can’t shut a single door without having to pull the towel down first 😓they dry in about double the time it would’ve taken me to wash and tumble dry them.. “saving” me money on electricity  👍👍
talks non-stop about crap I couldn’t care less about 😈he pretends to listen to me when I tell him all the important things we have coming up this week that he can’t forget, but does anyway 👌👌
forgets to set or sleeps through his alarms in the morning for work 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡💥💥💣💣he’s always super nice to me when I wake him up.. 💥👍
storms around the house being an angry jerk to everyone when he’s running late for work and has no clean clothes 😡😡💣he always texts/calls and apologises when he gets to there 👍👌
is driving 😨😨he’s very supportive and doesn’t get offended when I cover my eyes the whole trip. What a sweety. 👍💋
rinses the dishes and leaves them in a pile for me to wash 😡😡atleast they’ve been rinsed 👍
The list goes on.. believe me! I would love to hear your thoughts and some of the things that annoy you too!
So are you ready to find out what drives you mad?


To Download Roses Paige’s PDF- Hateful/Grateful List click >> HERE.

OR


Embed the PDF on your own Blog!

“1- Accepting that you are an annoying partner is the first step.

2- The second step is waiting 6 months and doing absolutely nothing about it!” – Sami (Roses Paige)

Mwa!

How to deal with annoying partners that drive you ...


 

It’s like kids have some kind of inbuilt system where a buzzer goes off every time you’ve just sat down after cleaning, when you need to have a rest or sit down to relax or eat.
“Mummy looks bored, she loves cleaning, let’s give her something fun to do!”

You know what’s also the best thing- their face when they are busted in the act. That, uh oh I’m not sure if mummy is happy or sad, so I’m just going to open my eyes really wide and wait to see what she does.. and here comes the cheeky smile either way..
Leave a comment:
What’s the worst mess your kids have made?

Let me take a long, deep look at my past and see if I can pull a few favourites out of the hat.

1. POO- and not the kind that’s in their nappy. Oh man, don’t we all have one of those stories? These are generally the worst because.. well let’s face it.. cleaning poo off objects and furniture isn’t something we want to do on top of our daily nappy changes.

When my daughter was about 1 and a half, I had one of those old, wooden square playpens set up in the lounge room on a rug. I used to put her in it while I would clean the kitchen and lounge. I remember looking behind me one day half way through the dishes, to see my daughter happily playing and laughing. I didn’t think anything of it until I noticed that dreaded smell. No. Please, no.

As I walked closer I noticed her nappy next to her full of poo.
No.

As I got closer, I realised that she had decided to go all Picaso on herself, the play pen, and the rug.. the poor rug, with her own poo.
She had grabbed out all the poo and smushed it over her WHOLE body, including her face, mouth, stomach, in her hair, feet, in between her toes and fingers… all over every toy in the play pen, all over the slats of the play pen, and ALL OVER THE RUG, nice and smushed in between her toes, just the way mummy likes it.

I have honestly never been so disgusted in my child before.
Let’s just say that everything was either binned or disinfected the hell out of.

YUCK!
Thankfully I haven’t had one quite as bad as that again..yet.
(Don’t worry, I eventually took her out of the bin as the rubbish man wouldn’t accept her.)

 

2. Spontaneous cooking sessions- Ever caught your kids in the midst of one of these? Last year, I was in bed resting as I was very sick. The kids knew the drill and they were usually pretty good at following instructions, they knew what things they were allowed to do and not do when mummy was resting. I remember dozing off and when I woke up it was quiet.

In the parenting world this is never a good thing. Never.

I rushed out to find the kitchen floor covered in rubbish, red cordial (undiluted) and self- raising flour.. NO!!!! They’d dragged a chair over and unlocked the pantry! Panicking, I found them both sitting in the lounge room on the carpet with all the pots, pans and utensils from the cupboards and 2 packets of flour that had been shaken all over the carpet.

They pretty much looked like ghosts and had also squeezed a bottle of tomato sauce into the saucepan (none on the carpet thank god). “We’re making a cake mummy!”

 

You know get that feeling when you catch your child in the middle of doing something really naughty that they know they’re not supposed to! That feeling bubbling and boiling up inside you where you are deciding whether to take a picture and laugh, or scream and yell and put them up for sale on ebay.

 

3. The independent child getting things done without Mum.

Now that my kids are getting older, the naughty things they do are just plain embarrassing, for the both of us. Like when they make the decision to cut their hair, fully aware of how to use a pair of scissors maturely, but they only cut the front parts because that’s all they can reach. They almost come out and tell you like they’re proud of themselves or something.. “Mummy look, I cut my own hair! Do you like it?” NO I HATE IT.

When they’ve got half of a fringe and uneven sides you don’t know whether to congratulate them for being so stupid or just laugh and let them deal with it.

4. Painting: 

I can guarantee you have experienced this- When they’re so proud that they’ve painted their whole wall in red lipstick, painted furniture and carpets with nail polish, or they’ve used permanent marker on things that will never be salvageable. Using food for painting is also another personal favourite for my kids.

I remember I’d just bought my daughter a new jewellery box and some lipsticks for her birthday as she’d been begging for them. The day after, she had coloured the whole inside of the white fabric in her jewellery box with pink and red lipstick.. when I asked her why she wrecked it she insisted she “likes it better that way.”

 

 

5. The food wasters/hiders- “Give it to the dog!”

Yes, we all did it as a child- if we don’t finish, we don’t get desert. So while mum and dad aren’t looking – put it on the floor, in your drink, hide it in the bin under other rubbish, give it to the dog, throw it out the door, or in my kids case- hide the unfinished food under beds, down the sides and back of the couches, OR hide it like a pro.. by throwing 3 full packets of noodles over the neighbours fence, and only eat the flavouring.. Surely they will never notice! (this happened today and provoked my post!!)

 

WHAT EVEN? WHERE DID I GO WRONG?

I’m sorry but I didn’t realise I had been throwing my food and rubbish over the fence as an example for my children to follow.. where did they even think of doing that? Why don’t they think about the consequences? I didn’t teach them to do that.

In any of these instances, I always recommend taking photos for 18th’s and 21st’s.

Can you imagine all our kids 18th birthday parties? Our day and age’s technology has allowed us to embarrass the world out of our kids.. the photos! The videos! What a great time to be alive!
Our time for payback will come.. 😁
So what can we do about these naughty things kids do?

I’ll save that for another time, if you’re struggling, check out this article!

* Phew! It’s Normal. An Age by Age Guide for What to Expect From Kids & Teens – And What They Need From You

Until next time, good luck, and if you have any funny stories & pictures of your children you can send them through to [email protected] for a future post or leave a comment!

Mwa!

Naughty things your kids do when you’re not paying ...


Maybe you’ve been struggling with finding your purpose, why are you here? What can you give the world? What impact do you have?

Here are some powerful words and examples as to how we can see our life from a different perspective.

Life life to the fullest, find your destiny, fulfil your purpose.

Do you ever see the water riveting down the gutters in a stream of bubbling terror before it’s swallowed by darkness, engulfed by the drains and submerged into a sea of its own kind?


Rain takes its own path, every single drop, unanimously free falling out of sync, but in the same direction as the rest. Destination, downwards.

You are the rain.

Each delicate, individual drop hoping to stand out, but when shadowed and spat out by dark clouds then cast among millions of others its purpose and beauty sometimes becomes lost, and it remains rain.


We are all destined to do great things, to live our lives to the fullest and fulfil our purpose (whatever that may be).

We start at the top, being created into tiny little droplets of hope and meaning and form our own perceptions of purpose and direction, some so high that the stars seem almost within our grasp.


But life doesn’t really turn out as we expect it to. 

All of us are unwillingly throttled down and out of our comfort zone in a direction that our dreams were unprepared for.

It’s terrifying free falling into the unknown.

And sure, some of us will land, fulfilling part of our purpose and finding an alternative path that we were intended to, but majority of us will hit the ground hard. 

Although we all fall face first at different times, it’s hard enough to get yourself back up let alone look out for others who are on their way down too. 

Some get so scared that they grasp several others surrounding them in the process only making the downfall quicker and the aftermath more substantial. 

Some look up at the sky not realising that even though the others see you in the depths, struggling, that you’re the only one who can let go to save yourself.


Hitting the ground is never the end!

Stay Positive!

Sometimes we forget that even rains purpose is to fall, but with a little help from other factors it can transform into something greater; hail, snow or ice. None the less, it generally evaporates back up into the sky beginning the cycle again. 


We are all destined to fall, but what we often forget is that by falling, we can land in greater, different things that completely change our perspective on the way the world works, and if not, we work out way back up and start again.


You are never falling alone, and down isn’t such a scary place once you’ve been there before and you’ve learnt to let go and enjoy the ride.


Sometimes we get thrown off by others or even dragged down by those closest to us, it is always unexpected, but when we realise that our lives are constant cycles of unpredictability then maybe we could learn to take in the scenery on the journey down, and stop being so terrified time and time again when things don’t go to plan. 

Don’t fear the unexpected, let it guide you.

Find your purpose, enjoy the journey, go with the ups and downs, change your perspective.

Find your purpose, change your perspective.



 

There’s a certain numbness that comes with losing yourself.  Not being sure what’s worse, that you were abandoned by choice, or that somewhere along the way you lost yourself, unwillingly.



For every minute it takes someone to pack up their belongings, turn their back and walk away from you, it takes days, months even for you to search through the remains of what was left behind for any piece of yourself and churn over years worth of shattered memories only to be left with questions unanswered.


I think the worst part is realising that they took much more than their possessions with them, and that by walking away, they got to write the last chapter, they got to decide the ending- of which you would re-read time and time again until the words blurred into a continuous daze of things your brain could never interpret to make any sense.


After a while the numbness is comforting, because feeling numb is better than feeling nothing at all, and there has to be something near the bottom of the scale to measure happiness right?


But being numb is worse than pain and hurt, it’s complete and utter darkness, it’s when you’ve spiralled down for so long that you’ve lost all sense of direction and you’re not sure which way is up. It’s when you’ve got nothing left to feel, to think, but continue to see a reel of broken memories and hear harsh resounding words replaying on the projector in your mind.  


I think that’s when you lose yourself, and it should be terrifying, but the feeling is suppressed by the fog in your head.


Closing your eyes at night is your only escape from reality, the only chance to feel something better because dreaming lets you enter a world that you can instantly vanish from and never deal with the hurt if you’re left alone, because it’s not real, that person was only a figment of your imagination and forgetting dreams comes naturally.


Waking up is the hardest part, because opening your eyes it becomes real again and you’re forced to remember the truth, you start to question whether that person you loved ever really existed, where was the evidence when they are now a complete stranger to you? You find yourself wondering how someone could take away such valuable parts of you that you didn’t even know existed, and how on earth would you ever get them back if you didn’t know you owned them in the first place?


Our perception of “love” is so skewered, it’s given and taken too freely. Without second chances, or with too many. Taken for granted, undermined and overlooked. Expectations are higher, standards are lower. 

Who ever said it’s all uphill from here was clearly delusional because things can always go from bad to worse, from worse to tragic, rock bottom is never really rock bottom, life will always be up and down.  


I think this is how we’re supposed measure our current happiness/sadness, on our past experiences, and constantly strive for better, because if things keep getting worse, surely giving up will just throw us further down right? And if things can get worse then surely they can go from bad to okay to good to great.. Or completely jump the scale from tragic to magnificent in a matter of seconds. Keep climbing no matter how far you fall. 


Even being numb is still a reminder that you are alive, and better things are yet to come. Don’t just keep falling, fight it, life is a constant war against yourself.


Make your own happiness to cloak the sadness.


If seconds is all it takes to break you, then your day could be a few ticks of the hand away. You’ll find the pieces of yourself on the journey, whether through people or words or experiences. 


Maybe after all we don’t actually lose ourselves, we just forget.

Feeling lost?