Here is a list of some personal qualities/values that I feel
benefit you as a person, to help you live a happier life.
If you’re reading this, chances are you’re soul searching or you frequently get called a d*ck.
Either way, I’ve listed a few tips to help you have quality relationships/friendships
and a better quality of life so you don’t go down in history as a prick.
I’m not going to order them as they’re all equally as important!
Give or take what you want, and no this isn’t my idea of “perfect”,
remember, it doesn’t exist. I’ve just personally found these have
helped my life become a little softer around the edges.
* R.E.S.P.E.C.T – bet you saw that coming. But wait, we have lost the definition of respect over time.
Here is the dictionary definition,
“A sense of the worth, or excellence of another person.”
Let that soak in for a sec, there is so little respect now a days, respect is regarded as “treat someone how you want to be treated”
“treat others nicely”. No. It is so much bigger than that.
Respect, is understanding, accepting and acknowledging another persons worth, value, and self as a WHOLE.
Stew on it for a little.
If you can choose to respect everyone for the amazing, individual people they are- and disregard their “negative qualities/habits” or parts of them that you disagree with, then you are TRULY understanding the word and respecting them.
Now this doesn’t mean that you have to be best mates with this person, you don’t have to see them all the time, but when you engage with someone.. anyone.. it should only be with respect, because everyone deserves it.
If you really feel like you can’t treat someone with respect in any given situation either dont talk at all, remove yourself from the situation or person and respect that they are who they are, but that you don’t have to subject yourself to negative people or environments if you don’t want to.
Know when to shut your mouth
Is there a word for that..? Haha!
There is usually a time and place for certain things to be said. Before, during or after a conversation you may be offending, embarrasing someone or speaking out of context without realising, or maybe you do.
You don’t want to be a d*ck for sharing an opinion you have when it’s something that is much better left unsaid, or kept to a private one on one conversation.
Think before you speak
Will what I say offend or embarrass them?
Should I be saying this in private.. is it rude.. is it necessary to the conversation.. will it have bad consequences?
Don’t get me wrong, I am all for opinionating yourself, but there is a time and a place, you don’t want to be a mean girl.
Don’t be a Mean Girl
We’ve all seen the movie, sure you can live a life like that if you choose,
but you’ll probably be upsetting a lot of people on the way, surely that can’t make you happy.
If you’ve got something mean to say, say it nicely.
If you feel that there is something necessary to be said, try not to be sarcastic, try to be as nice as possible,
and do not say “I’m not trying to be offensive but….”
we ALL know that something offensive is coming after that.
Try saying mean things nicely, though you may want to strangle them – be genuine.
For example: you have a best friend who’s dating an absolute moron (we’ve all had or been one of these),
they keep getting back with this jerk when he’s hurting your friend constantly.
You could say something like: “I’m going to be honest with you because I care, and it’s from the bottom of my heart. I know ultimately it’s your decision, but I don’t like seeing you hurt and I really just feel like your boyfriend isn’t treating you how you deserve to be treated and I just want to see you happy..”
See, nice, not too offensive, it’s genuine.. don’t say something like
“You should just break up with him he’s such a d*ck why do you even like him”….
Who’s had one of these friends?
Of course that’s going to piss you righttttt off.
Your words can have a huge impact on peoples reaction towards you, and their self esteem.
Try REAAAALLY hard not to get involved in regular gossip.
Yes ladies, you can’t deny it.
I’ve struggled with this recently and got sucked into it. I felt like a teen again!
It took me a long time, but I eventually cut myself from the negative environment and didn’t
expose myself to it anymore.
Stay positive, gossip is a very, very self destructive, negative habit.
Honestly, gossip opens up a whole world of drama, issues and karma.
Stop the Goss today
-change the subject
-let your friends know you’re over it and want to spend time doing fun, productive, positive things.
-have a good mindset :
We should be respecting and uplifting one another.
Negativity breeds Negativity.
Know what you stand for.
What are your personal values, what kind of person do you want to be remembered as? What are your passions, your fears.
Have confidence and dignity – don’t be up yourself.
Confidence in ourselves is important. Imagine I’d never been confident enough to share my writing?
It’s hard to be confident when you feel the opposite, but be humble and stay classy in your confidence.
Having “confidence” doesn’t always have to translate to, lets take 100 photos of myself with next
to no clothes on because I’m confident.. but if that’s something you really want to do.. your choice!
Be graceful and humble during big wins or losses.
Dont be a sore loser, we live and learn.
Don’t be one of THOSE winners either, unless the situation absolutely calls for it.
Distance yourself from anger and yelling.
No matter the reason, try to control it.
You don’t have to respond angrily to situations or people if you choose.
If you feel yourself about to yell at the kids.. a friend, or you can just feel the rage boiling inside,
TAKE A BREATH and close your eyes for a sec. Explain calmly to the offender or even to yourself,
“I’m starting to feel cross, I would really like xyz… I’m going to go outside for a while to calm down”
Stay calm, keep an even, crazy lady tone, say what you need, then remove yourself from the situation.
It gets easier!
Know how to identify negative thoughts.
This helps with our happiness, it’s great especially if you’re a worry wart or experience anxiety.
It can really help you live a more positive life.
If you can feel yourself thinking negatively, immediately stop yourself.
Be there for friends and family- they come next.
They’re your blood.. But if they are having a negative influence on your life.. dont be afraid to stand up for yourself. We don’t get to pick our families and chances are that you’re not going to love every single family member you have.
Be civil: agree to disagree.
Accept that we all have different opinions based on personal beliefs, lifestyle, experiences, cultures etc.
You don’t always have to be right in a fight.
(unless you’re a mum, we always are)
It’s okay to be wrong, it’s okay to admit, and it’s okay to apologise straight away.
“I’m sorry, I was wrong, I didn’t mean to argue but I get it, can we not fight?”
Truly, it feels good to soak up your pride sometimes,
it saves so much time and effort spent fighting an being angry – especially in relationships.
What are some qualities that you have and want to share with others?
Speak up! It may benefit someone!