How to be more you
If you’ve read the previous post Outcasts of today’s society – Unmask your true self then we are on the right track!
First off, well done!
If you’ve landed on this post chances are you’re on your own journey to Unmasking yourself- this is awesome!
And here I am to remind you that you don’t have to hide anymore!
We are doing this together.
If you would like to chat with me about anything or share your story you can get in touch with me here.
Okay, so. You’re not really feeling like yourself at the moment are you?
Well that’s okay! You’re not due for a check up at the psych ward, it is normal!
Somewhere along the way you’ve lost yourself, whether it was by choice, or from past
experiences, traumas or scrutiny, we are going to start TODAY!
The main thing I want to discuss today is the small tweaks we make to ourselves,
our peronalities, our opinions, our values or our looks – to fit in with other peoples
idea of normal or perfect.
So maybe you haven’t noticed it yet, but we are all guilty as charged here, everyday!
” I can’t wear that to my grandparents house.. what if they think/say..”
“I’m not going to tell them they stuffed up my food order.. because I don’t want to be THAT lady”..
“I’ll turn my music down at the traffic lights, this song is embarrasing”
“yeah I love that new tv show!!! (never even heard of it)..”
I want you to think for a minute, write a list of all the things you’ve been doing/saying differently that kind of shadow the REAL you.
How to start today
1) You’ve just woken up today, what are your plans for today? Are your plans aligned with what YOU want to do?
Or, maybe your plans revolve around keeping others happy, or keeping up appearances,
or maybe it’s something you kinda have to do (like work, food shop.. the neccessaties)
Is there anything planned that you really don’t want to do? Why?
If so, you’ve already identified some negative triggers in your life,
you can now alter these activities to revolve around you, what makes you happy..
maybe it’s getting a new job because your current one is negative and you’re unpassionate about it.
This is something we can touch on more in the future.
Maybe your friends want you to go out to a club, but it’s your only day off and you honestly want to stay home and have a lazy day.
You miss your friends and may not see them for a little while, so what’re you going to do?
Maybe you’d still go out and have fun but regret it tomorrow when you’re broke and tired..
We need to fix this: there are exceptions though- eg. your friend needs a ride to hospital.. of course you should go and help if its life and death.
I’m all for being a good friend, BUT if you ignore your friend or cancel on them, they’ll be mad right?
If you start today, and start being honest and just letting them know,
“hey look, I’m not feeling 100% today, I need a day to myself I hope you understand
and I promise to see you when I’m feeling myself again.”
If they’re a real friend, of course they will understand.
You want friends that have good qualities, not one who will hold a friendship
against you or end a friendship over something like that.
Do what YOU want, listen to your body, what do you need?
2) What do you want to wear today? No, but actually think about it.
Forget what everyone else thinks.
Have you been dressing the same as others or wearing whats “in fashion” but you don’t feel you’re truly expressing yourself?
Maybe you want to wear a rainbow sweater with a cat on it.. do it! Who cares what others think?
Do you want to define yourself,
or let the fear of others judgement or opinions define who you truly are?
I’m telling you now, it takes some time, but small steps each day creates a habit.
We need to change our subconsious worry and fears – we identify them and change them.
(I talk alot about this in depth in my Ebook that will be out sooooon!)
So when we start to feel ourselves conforming to societys standards again, we can go,
hangon, that’s not me, that’s not what I want, I’m not going to tone myself down anymore.
SCREW THE HATERS! BE YOU!
You want crazy hair today? Go for it.
Always wanted tattoos/piercings, go fot it! (if youre under 18 maybe check with your school rules and parents though!! haha)
Want to wear trackies and uggies, you go for it girl!
You’ll notice that you’ll be a lot happier when you start making these small changes and start being more you.
3) What’s your opinion today? Where is your voice?
Have you been shutting your mouth because it’s not worth the trouble?
Not worth who’s trouble.. yours or theirs..?
Stand up for what you think is right and justifyable.
Maybe someone has offended you or you’re too scared to stand up to a rude friend
or family member who has been making you feel be-littled or worthless.
Do you really know and understand how you deserve to be treated? If no, go here.
If someone is treating you any less than you deserve, SPEAK UP.
Now I’m not saying jump in your car and start ramming down every person who ever looked at you wrong.
There is a wrong and a right way to deal with haters and that’s wrong lol.
One of the best ways I’ve personally found works well, and usually shocks the other person, is to say
“I don’t like the way you’re speaking to me, it’s making me feel like cr*p, and I’m not going to allow you
to treat me like that, so I’m not going to subject myself to it anymore, Cya!”
It gives them a good dose of shock, and makes them think about how they’ve been acting. Hopefully things get resolved for the better.
Start voicing your own opinion, today. What impact on this world will you have?
You may have the power to help people just by voicing your opinion, there will be atleast
one other person out there who connects and agrees.
4) Who are you today?
Maybe you’ve had a cr*ppy week and you need a grumpy day- we all have and need these on occasion.
You can choose how you want your day to be, it’s your attitude, your choice.
So what’s your attitude towards yourself today?
Miserable? We need to make some changes.
“I want to have the best day every day”? Great!
Moods aren’t constant, they’re variable, so we can choose.
Our moods effect us and our productivity, so be YOU today.
If you want to do something out of the ordinary or something amazing, tell yourself in the morning,
repeat it. Self talk is great!
If you’re feeling low, tell yourself,
“It’s okay to feel this way, but I do want to find myself, what I love and make the most of life, so today I’m going to do exactly what I want to do right now… and be lazy 😛 And tomorrow I will … “
Remember, SMALL steps, It’s okay to put yourself first!
This goes to all MUMS especially too, it’s okay to do things for YOU sometimes,
don’t worry about the opinion of sheep.
Doing things for me, is one huge thing I learnt during my own Psychologist sessions.
We get so caught up in the needs of our children that we completely forget about ourself!
A Happy mum makes happy kids!
There is NO such thing as perfect! (Except for our own kids :P)
If you’ve found something has helped you be more you,
please leave a comment and share your wisdom with other women around the world!
So today, I’m going to put on a choker necklace, wear what I want,
put on a tonne of makeup (because I want to), make myself look nice,
and I’m going to go to the beach with the kids and shamelessly blare the music and dance with the kids on the drive.