It’s like kids have some kind of inbuilt system where a buzzer goes off every time you’ve just sat down after cleaning, when you need to have a rest or sit down to relax or eat.
“Mummy looks bored, she loves cleaning, let’s give her something fun to do!”
You know what’s also the best thing- their face when they are busted in the act. That, uh oh I’m not sure if mummy is happy or sad, so I’m just going to open my eyes really wide and wait to see what she does.. and here comes the cheeky smile either way..
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What’s the worst mess your kids have made?
Let me take a long, deep look at my past and see if I can pull a few favourites out of the hat.
1. POO- and not the kind that’s in their nappy. Oh man, don’t we all have one of those stories? These are generally the worst because.. well let’s face it.. cleaning poo off objects and furniture isn’t something we want to do on top of our daily nappy changes.
When my daughter was about 1 and a half, I had one of those old, wooden square playpens set up in the lounge room on a rug. I used to put her in it while I would clean the kitchen and lounge. I remember looking behind me one day half way through the dishes, to see my daughter happily playing and laughing. I didn’t think anything of it until I noticed that dreaded smell. No. Please, no.
As I walked closer I noticed her nappy next to her full of poo.
As I got closer, I realised that she had decided to go all Picaso on herself, the play pen, and the rug.. the poor rug, with her own poo.
She had grabbed out all the poo and smushed it over her WHOLE body, including her face, mouth, stomach, in her hair, feet, in between her toes and fingers… all over every toy in the play pen, all over the slats of the play pen, and ALL OVER THE RUG, nice and smushed in between her toes, just the way mummy likes it.
I have honestly never been so disgusted in my child before.
Let’s just say that everything was either binned or disinfected the hell out of.
Thankfully I haven’t had one quite as bad as that again..yet.
(Don’t worry, I eventually took her out of the bin as the rubbish man wouldn’t accept her.)
2. Spontaneous cooking sessions- Ever caught your kids in the midst of one of these? Last year, I was in bed resting as I was very sick. The kids knew the drill and they were usually pretty good at following instructions, they knew what things they were allowed to do and not do when mummy was resting. I remember dozing off and when I woke up it was quiet.
In the parenting world this is never a good thing. Never.
I rushed out to find the kitchen floor covered in rubbish, red cordial (undiluted) and self- raising flour.. NO!!!! They’d dragged a chair over and unlocked the pantry! Panicking, I found them both sitting in the lounge room on the carpet with all the pots, pans and utensils from the cupboards and 2 packets of flour that had been shaken all over the carpet.
They pretty much looked like ghosts and had also squeezed a bottle of tomato sauce into the saucepan (none on the carpet thank god). “We’re making a cake mummy!”
You know get that feeling when you catch your child in the middle of doing something really naughty that they know they’re not supposed to! That feeling bubbling and boiling up inside you where you are deciding whether to take a picture and laugh, or scream and yell and put them up for sale on ebay.
3. The independent child getting things done without Mum.
Now that my kids are getting older, the naughty things they do are just plain embarrassing, for the both of us. Like when they make the decision to cut their hair, fully aware of how to use a pair of scissors maturely, but they only cut the front parts because that’s all they can reach. They almost come out and tell you like they’re proud of themselves or something.. “Mummy look, I cut my own hair! Do you like it?” NO I HATE IT.
When they’ve got half of a fringe and uneven sides you don’t know whether to congratulate them for being so stupid or just laugh and let them deal with it.
I can guarantee you have experienced this- When they’re so proud that they’ve painted their whole wall in red lipstick, painted furniture and carpets with nail polish, or they’ve used permanent marker on things that will never be salvageable. Using food for painting is also another personal favourite for my kids.
I remember I’d just bought my daughter a new jewellery box and some lipsticks for her birthday as she’d been begging for them. The day after, she had coloured the whole inside of the white fabric in her jewellery box with pink and red lipstick.. when I asked her why she wrecked it she insisted she “likes it better that way.”
5. The food wasters/hiders- “Give it to the dog!”
Yes, we all did it as a child- if we don’t finish, we don’t get desert. So while mum and dad aren’t looking – put it on the floor, in your drink, hide it in the bin under other rubbish, give it to the dog, throw it out the door, or in my kids case- hide the unfinished food under beds, down the sides and back of the couches, OR hide it like a pro.. by throwing 3 full packets of noodles over the neighbours fence, and only eat the flavouring.. Surely they will never notice! (this happened today and provoked my post!!)
WHAT EVEN? WHERE DID I GO WRONG?
I’m sorry but I didn’t realise I had been throwing my food and rubbish over the fence as an example for my children to follow.. where did they even think of doing that? Why don’t they think about the consequences? I didn’t teach them to do that.
In any of these instances, I always recommend taking photos for 18th’s and 21st’s.
Can you imagine all our kids 18th birthday parties? Our day and age’s technology has allowed us to embarrass the world out of our kids.. the photos! The videos! What a great time to be alive!
Our time for payback will come.. 😁
So what can we do about these naughty things kids do?
I’ll save that for another time, if you’re struggling, check out this article!
Until next time, good luck, and if you have any funny stories & pictures of your children you can send them through to [email protected] for a future post or leave a comment!