Do you have what it takes?
It’s 10am and the kids are still in their pajamas, as I’m pouring them bowls of Nutrigrain without milk since they prefer it that way, I had a second of doubt in my mind as to how good of a parent I really am.
Although we all know that parenthood is challenging, what they don’t tell you is that every day, every decision you made makes you second guess yourself and feel like the job you’re doing just isn’t enough.
I know I’m a good mother, but to say it and believe it are two different things.
But who’s to decide what’s good enough?
Because sometimes we skip bath time because we just can’t be bothered, and sometimes we let them get away with it when we know they’re being naughty just for that extra few minutes alone, and sometimes it’s tin spaghetti or toasted sandwiches for dinner, and ‘coz sometimes getting them dressed for the day is too much of a fight.
Sometimes letting them sleep in your bed is easier than missioning them back to their own, sometimes letting them have dessert when they didn’t finish their dinner doesn’t seem like such a bad idea knowing it will keep them quiet and happy for at least 5 minutes, or sometimes we buy them that special treat to avoid public tantrums and melt downs.
How about those times we don’t really listen to what they’re saying and just respond with “Mmm! Really! Wow!” Having no clue what they just said.
How about that guilt that comes after you sneakily run off to the toilet and lock the door, too late, they’ve found you and they’re screaming on the other side. Sometimes it just makes you want to put your head in your hands and cry.
When it comes down to us being exhausted, stressed, and just wanting a few minutes of silence or privacy, it’s worse, and always too much to ask without being overcome with a wave of guilt.
There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re putting your own needs for a break in front of your child’s endless list of wants and needs.
So where do we draw the line?
We continue to zombie on through the days and nights.
Super human parent strength.
It is a real thing.
The ends we will go to for our children is amazing.
The nights we spend awake watching our sick child in fear of sleeping through them choking on their own vomit.. Then after a few days we catch the fever ourselves, causing exhaustion & frustration at the fact that you just want to rest but you can’t, you don’t get someone to take care of you, and you definitely do not get the privacy of throwing up in peace.
After everything we do for them, they still manage to misbehave and tell us they don’t like us for giving them a time out or not giving them ice-cream when they didn’t finish dinner.. But what about all those times I let you off?!
There’s nothing worse than feeling like a failure and even more so when you’re constantly being judged.
Us mothers all do it differently, but with the same thought process.
There is no right or wrong way to parent, as long as you do everything to meet their needs and they’re still alive and breathing at the end of the day, then that shows the love you have for them, regardless as to whether you’re smiling or not.
“Actions are a mothers signature of love.” – Sami
Waking everyday of your life doing everything in your power to provide for and meet your child’s needs is the biggest act of love one can give. You have dedicated every thought, every action, to better them, to benefit them.
It is the most selfless love in the world.
So when you want a break, or when you’re away from them and you feel guilty because you don’t miss them that much- it’s okay.
We will continuously doubt, and criticise our every action or thought regardless.
From one mother to another, you are fantastic! You’re doing a brilliant job!
If you need to lock yourself in the bathroom for that long overdue shower in private while the kids destroy the house, you go ahead hunny. You enjoy that shower. You know that as soon as you step out of that bathroom that you’ll be the one who takes care of the mess and the kids so..
A happy parent makes happy kids.
Take care of yourselves too.
Great ways to relax and take time off:
Accept that you’re stressed out and that you need a break! Don’t feel bad.
* Get a sitter and sleep all day.
* Laugh! Go to a comedy club, have drinks with some friends.
* Get a babysitter and have a night off or a weekend away.
* Go on a fishing trip/girls weekend
* Read a book, take a nice relaxing bath
* Excercise! Yoga, long walks, a trip to the beach.
If all else fails, build a time machine and go back a few years before you had kids!
Check out this link & infographic for tips on relaxation: